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Challenge: Life Changes

10 Realities of Being the Mom to a Teenage Girl

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1. Your clothes, shoes, make up, hairdryer, scarves, etc will mysteriously wind up anywhere but where you last put them! Just accept the fact that nothing is yours anymore and you will feel less annoyed! And please don't delude yourself into thinking the stuff will be in her room! It may be in there on the floor or buried in a pile but it's just as likely to be at her friend's house, in the basement, her locker or "somewhere"!

2. Gymboree and Lands End are distant memories. Deal with it. Heck even Justice is a long ago dream. Now it seems hoochie and sexy are the absolute goal every day! Fight the good fight mamas! But the reality is teen girl’s no longer want to wear baggie clothes and hide under a big ol' sweatshirt! Our moms had it so easy. The 80's were all about big!! Now it's all about short and tight! Good Luck!

3. You will become the most embarrassing person on the planet. It happens over night. So if it hasn't happened yet, don't get smug. It will. You will be checking out at the grocery store and say, something horrifying like, "Thank You", as you accept your receipt and she will die a thousand deaths! "How could you talk to him mom? He goes to my school"!!!! Just apologize for your obvious lack of any coolness factor and try to salvage the day!

4. You are NOT funny! Under no circumstance ever assume you are funny. Nothing you say is funny! Got it? If you try to be funny or think you are funny you will be guaranteed a sigh, an eye roll and an "OMG, Mom, you are so lame."

5. Drama is now a daily part of your life. What someone said, didn't say, did, and didn’t do, a look that was given or a tone that was implied are now the most riveting details of the day! Go with it. Listen carefully, stop asking lame questions and try to keep up. You need to know all of these details so that in the rare event she wants advice or needs a course correction; you have the details that matter!

6. She is a mini, emotional, moody, insecure version of you! And your mom probably wished this kid on you at some point during your adolescence! So today's tears and tomorrow's anger and the next day's sweetness is all you! Love her as much as you can and wait patiently for the sweet version to reappear. And of course be very careful what you wish upon her! Maybe twin teenage daughters: )

7. Bras, zit cream, girly products will become daily dinner topics! These teens have no filter. They talk about everything! And their everything right now is not exactly what our grandmas would call "appropriate dinner conversation"! But at least they are communicating with you. Try to figure out if there is a real question buried in there before you shut it down as shock value, obnoxiousness or just a really fun way to traumatize her dad!!

8. Her friends are her world right now! You might love them. You might hate them. And not too be too dramatic, but your opinion of her friends can change on a dime. The kid who you thought was an amazing influence is going through her own growth too and may be ready to cut loose and push the limits at any moment. But so too might be the kid you never really liked. Or even worse, a kid you don't even know might just be the best friend your kid could have right now. Find the positive in every friend your daughter has. Find the potential and trust that your daughter will figure all that out too!

9. Body image. Oh boy do they struggle with body image! One moment your daughter is strong and powerful and can take on the boys at recess or the pacer test at school and then you blink and that confident, amazingly full of life school aged girl becomes a weepy, soppy mess about her skills and ability and her shape and size of parts she never gave a thought to before! Help her see that even though her body is going through some disgusting changes, it will all be OK. Be confident in your own body! Encourage her to love the body she has. Teach her how to take care of that body so that it stays strong and powerful to do amazing things in the future!

10. She will never ever admit this one. So please don't show her this list! You will ruin this for moms across the country if this somehow goes viral across Instagram. But you are actually her person. You are the person she needs most in the world right now. Yes, you are embarrassing, not at all funny, your clothes are hideous, except the ones she has "borrowed' forever, and let's not forget that you are super lame; but she needs you. She is the mini version of you and she will become the adult version of you no matter how hard she tries to pretend otherwise. She is watching how you treat yourself, how you treat others and how you treat her! So carry on embarrassing moms!! Keep saying thank you to clerks. Keep trying to buy her clothes that cover her body and flatter her in ways she can't comprehend yet. Keep listening. Keep finding the good in her friends. Keep loving this gangly, pimply, awkward little girl! She is growing up to be a good, kind, decent human being!

Click here for the 10 Realities of Being the Parent to a Teenage Boy!

A special thanks to fellow mom and middle school teacher, Casey Krueger, for her support and humor in "researching" this topic!

Joy Hartman is a Family Therapist in Wisconsin whose passion is to empower teens to find their strength and confidence everyday! She also has the unique pleasure of now raising three eye-rolling, moody teens of her own. So basically, everyday is a brutal reminder that her 2o years of therapy experience means absolutely nothing!!

Visit her website at : joyhartman.com

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Like her on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/Survivingteens?ref=bookmarks

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