I had a singleton for 12 years, then I remarried and BLAM! I get pregnant out of nowhere with twins.
(OK, I wasn't out of nowhere, I know how it all worked, but twins weren't in anyone's history).
My advanced maternal age of 37 caused the twinnage, and WOW were we not prepared. My new husband and I just wanted one girl together, instead we got 2 boys.
They will be 5 in a few days, and it's been a journey. I only have a few strands of hair left since ripping the rest out in frustration, but one thing that gets me through tantrums is to remember:
THIS IS DEVELOPMENTALLY APPROPRIATE.
I was a teacher for many years, and it made me laugh how every year kids would go through the same things around the same time.
It seemed cuter when it was my students, rather than my children.
When they are defiant, or fighting, or lose all sense of any logic, I just need to remember this is what they do at this age. I just have it twofold.
I think all parents should take a child psychology class here and there just so they know their child is not really insane, but rather, 4, 5, 6, 7, 18, 22 etc.
And also know that even though they have the exact same toy, bought at the exact same time, they will always think the other is better.
And then rip it out of their brother's hands and yell: "You can't catch me!".
Always when I'm on the phone.