Sometimes as moms, it’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day hustle of feeding “the kids”, bathing “the kids”, doing homework with “the kids” or just keeping “the kids” alive. If you have more than one child … so often we forget to stop and look and those kids and remember that each one is unique, rare and genuinely special in his own way.
My husband and I have 3 very different, very special little boys. I try hard to make it a point to spend one-on-one time with each of them but sometimes life gets in the way and I’ll catch myself staring at one of them thinking “Wow… this little boy is amazing. He is going to make a difference in the world.” And quickly the guilt of trying to rack my brain for the last time I had a meaningful one-on-one conversation with him consumes me.
Yesterday as we were walking into church was one of these eye opening moments for me. You see, our oldest two boys are twins. They don’t look alike, act alike, have the same friends, the same talents, or even the same interests most of the time. But as a twin, it’s so easy to lose your individuality. It’s our job as parents not to let that happen. I have a strict hold hands in parking lots rule. I don’t care how uncool it is to hold your moms hand. The older two are only 7 so I still don’t entirely trust them to be completely aware of their surroundings.
The parking lot at church was a little wet yesterday and I had one of the older boys on either side of me, as I held out my arms Braylon (twin A) grabbed my hand as quickly as he could and linked his fingers through mine, squeezed and hugged my arm, hopping happily through the puddles proud to be holding his mommy’s hand. Braxton (twin B), barely touched my hand, kept his head straight down and as soon as we got on the sidewalk yanked it away from me and looked around to make sure no one could see. I had one of those gut-punch moments. These are two completely different individuals, am I taking the time to remember that? And what about their little brother?
Braylon. Age 7. Twin A.
Braylon loves to play rough, is naturally athletic and is exceptional at pretty much any sport he has every tried, and loves to dance ridiculously for all to see. He has already broken a bone and had 2 sets of stitches. He is our rambunctious one. Braylon snuggles and hugs me often, isn’t afraid to laugh obnoxiously in front of his friends, and is better at math than me (I recognize that isn’t saying much as I don’t do numbers and like to say I math at the level of a toddler). Braylon is kind and always means well but he struggles to show his emotions appropriately at times.
Braxton. Age 7. Twin B.
Braxton is very socially aware and has the ability to light up a room with his smile. He is much more emotional than his brothers and embarrasses easily. He is artistic and empathetic and so very kind. Braxton loves to draw pictures and absolutely thrives off of adoration from “the grown ups.” He is mature for his age. He does not like hugs or kisses from mama – especially not when others can see him. We joke and call him captain question because he has to know everything about everything and asks a million questions to anyone who is listening.
Landon. Age 3. The baby.
This kid is so much like me it’s scary. He is stubborn and feisty and loves to be the center of attention. Landon lives his life to make others smile and marches to the beat of his own drum. He has always been way too smart for his own good and is as mischievous as they come. If Landon wants something, he WILL find a way to do it. He walked early, talked early and already thinks he’s a full-fledged adult. He does what he wants, when he wants and does not let his older brothers push him around. Landon owns the room.
These are our 3 beautifully unique and 100% different little boys. Yes they are “my kids.” But more importantly, they are Brayon, Braxton and Landon. They are not the same person. And it’s my job as their mom to always remember that.
Have you taken the time to see the special qualities in each of your kids lately? If your schedule is anything like mine, this may fall down too far on your priority list. I am the first to admit I don’t do it enough. Don’t wait for a walk in a wet church parking lot to give you a gut-punch reminder. Stop and soak them in. You are raising these amazing small versions of you and recognizing and emphasizing what makes them unique and different makes all the difference in the world.
Mom Reminder of the Day