Dylan's story is similar to mine. We were not old but "older" (as far as fertility is concerned) when we started our family as well. We had our first child right away (I was 38). We had 2 miscarriages trying for our second child (and we did end up having a second child with progesterone to help sustain the third pregnancy). As we were trying for our second child (and it certainly seemed bleek), we did decide that we were going to have a second child and a sibling for our first child somehow and that we would not beat ourselves up/let sadness & devastation take over and put ourselves through physical, emotional, and financial stress to do so when there are so many children/babies in this world in need of a loving family and home; that our efforts would go there. So much so, that there was no doubt in our minds that we would adopt even before we knew whether or not we would have a second baby, biologically. I was happy to know that there was a child out there somewhere who needed me/us (and that we already had a loving home, family, AND enough means to put towards that child). The third try/pregnancy (which did work) simply ended up "delaying" the adoption process. When Drew was around 2 years old, we couldn't wait to jump right into the adoption process. Nothing in this world will ever compare to the gift of Miriam completing our family. Her siblings feel the same. She is in no way second best or any alternative or a LAST resort; but an absolute obvious option/consideration. Just knowing that brought us joy. I would not want Miriam or any adopted child to think that devastation lead me to adopt them OR give the impression that no amount of devastation would ever lead me to adopt (that we would do anything but adopt/consider them). Adopted children are more than wanted (many times over) and we have had to explain this to Miriam. Infertility and adoption may be two different things but when you are adopted you do see/hear these things in a little bit of a different light. I truly hope that you can find that happiness with confidence and peace on your side. I am so very happy every single day that my three children have each other. My oldest was almost an only child and with older parents. My youngest may have spent her entire life in an orphanage. And Drew is the best brother these girls could possibly have. I am very blessed to not only have one BUT three based on my "advanced" age when we started having a family. I believe God matched us with Miriam every bit as much as with Audrey and Drew (even before she was born).