If someone were to have peered into my house window last night, they would have seen me on the floor of my child’s bedroom, head in hands, tears falling.

Yesterday was a hard day.

And I say that with absolutely guilt over my use of the word ‘hard’ to describe a day that included time in the pool, biking (while distanced) in front of our house with a friend, and three entirely edible home-cooked meals.

It sounds like a win, doesn’t it?

But yesterday, I was the loser.

I lost my patience,

my calm,

and my overall keep it together-ness.

Lately, the kids have struggled with being kind to one another and to me. They have had less of a desire and motivation to keep up with their schoolwork or to follow through with the tasks I assign them. When things are eventually tackled, after a lot of back-and-forth, it is done so with an eye roll and some attitude.

Last night it came to head for all of us.

The kids are tired of the doing the same crap every day.

I’m tired of the kids giving me such a hard time.

And, my husband, well he is tired of hearing it all play out while he’s trying to work.

Needless to say we’re all really flippin’ tired of corona.

I cried last night.

At dinner, during bedtime and then in the kitchen to my husband after all we’re asleep.

I poured a glass of wine, preordered some of my daughter’s birthday gifts for early June and went back and ordered a devotional that should arrive on Sunday.

Today the three kids and I woke up and did things differently. We headed to park for an outing. I let them eat McDonalds for lunch and they ran in the grass. We ventured out further than we have in two months, but did so where it was safe and pretty unpopulated.

I don’t know if I’m doing any of this parenting during a pandemic right, and perhaps you feel the same.

But I do know that everyday, each of us keeps waking up and (not so simply) DOING — and that matters; it’s really all that matters.

Do my kids have the perfect mom?

No, but they have one who cares to the point of tears all the way to a fun afternoon picnic in less than 24 hours.

Yesterday was a hard day, but today is a little less hard.

Hard sure is relative, but gratitude isn’t.

We’ve got this and so do they because we’ve got them and they’ve got us.