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Challenge: Finding Your Voice as a Parent

If your heart tells you to, then who are you to question it?

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If your heart tells you to, then who are you to question it?

I'm going to go out on a one-time preachy limb, and contend that you need to ask yourself this multiple times a day and formulate some sort of repetitive answer that mimics the likes of

"I shouldn't question myself."

You'll wake up, day after day, and still do it though, because as mothers, it's practically impossible to not give ourselves the Spanish Inquisition over every damn move we make, thought we have, word we say or action we take.

But, we've got to ease up.

Because the reality is, if we don't, we won't make it through this precious life unscathed, and, actually, we'll take quite an unnecessary beating.

From
trying to conceive
to
the two-week wait
to
the positive pregnancy test
to
waiting for beta confirmation
to
anticipating increases in HCG
to
successful checkups
to
birth
to
post-delivery
to
life with a newborn
to
feeding troubles
to
colic
to
developmental milestones
to
emotional rollercoasters
to
more babies
to
more uncertainty
to
lots and lots of trying
and
guessing
and
wishing
and
hoping,
and
praying

that as those babies grow, so will you.

Grow comfortable with your new role.

Grow into the person you long to be.

Grow into someone who is fully confident in who they are and the choices they are making.

And that one day, you'll realize your immense strength

--
by way of
waiting out tantrums,
arguments about clothes,
conversations on values,
homework battles,
and
debates about anything and everything.
--
so much so that you stop questioning how capable you are of loving and living for your family and yourself because you've shown yourself how to do it, only by doing it.

Just because you woman differently than others doesn't make you wrong or her better.

Just because you wife in a different way than I do, doesn't make you wrong or me better.

Just because you mother in a way that only you can mother doesn't make you any less of one.

It makes you perfect for your God, your spouse, and your kids.

'Cause this is your life and no one else's.

So, listen up --

if your heart tells you

to get that epidural,
bottle-feed your child,
co-sleep,
use pacifiers,
send your kid to public school,
give your child an allowance,
free-range parent,
be an obsessive helicopter,
let your kid play hookey from school one day,
take a mental health day,
eat a whole cake,
or let your entire family dye their hair blue,

who are you to question it?

You shouldn't question yourself, and more often than not, your main reason for doing so is that you fear that's precisely what others are doing to you.

I'm here to tell you that I don't question your choices because your choices have no bearing upon me and mine.

And, because it's my decisions and those alone that wear on my heart, I'm gonna throw self-doubt out the damn window and focus on appreciating the person I am, the one I'm growing alongside and the ones I'm encouraging to grow into who they are meant to become.

This post comes from the TODAY Parenting Team community, where all members are welcome to post and discuss parenting solutions. Learn more and join us! Because we're all in this together.