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It's never a relief when my spirited kid isn't home

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When your strong-willed child isn't home, there’s a strange quiet that enters the house.

An eerie silence that makes you feel alone even when your other kids are near.

There’s no one bossing you around or bringing on the tear-filled drama. And your spirited child can bring on the waterworks — tears that burst out of her eyes like being released from a dam, water pouring everywhere, soaking you and her.

There’s no power struggle because he needs to touch the hot stove or not wear his jacket to school in the snow.

There’s no one trying to get a rise out of you for attention by writing on the wall and saying, "Look what I did, mommy?”

And this side of her feels good to have a break from initially.

But he’s much more than a loud, mischievous force to fight with all of the time.

And that "more" that we often don’t acknowledge is always missed.

Spirited kids can be so sweet and protective of their families. My daughter is always trying to be a mommy to her baby sisters and uses words like “honey” and “sweetie” while trying to comfort them by stroking their hair. She’s also a protective lioness, and if you take a toy from any of her sisters (when it’s not her doing the snatching), she'll come after you and make you give it back, OR ELSE.

Strong-willed kids can be persistent in a way that benefits the whole family. She’s the one who will negotiate ice pops for all her sisters after dinner, and on the flip side, get them actually to eat dinner to get those pops.

Spirited kids make us self-reflect. When I used to go out, I’d get embarrassed by a tantrum. Now I could care less about what people think. She has made me realize that I have to do what's best for her and my other daughters — and if someone gives me a dirty look, that’s on them.

Spirited kids may test the limits all of the time and be incredibly stubborn, but we forget to mention how they positively impact the entire family, and our lives, for who they are.

That’s why when they aren’t home, we feel incomplete —

because they’re the spirit our hearts need to be whole.

This post originally appeared on the author's Facebook. Her book "Living FULL: Winning My Battle with Eating Disorder" is available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2O4mJId

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