My husband and I have three wonderful children and between packing lunches, going to work, coming home and refereeing a sibling battleground, there isn't much time for romance. That being said, we still try and make time, even if we have to find creative ways to adjust our schedules.
Don't Ever Forget About Date Night
One of our biggest secrets to keeping our love alive and well after kids is by scheduling one or two days out of the week to spend with just eachother. Yep, you heard what I said, just with each other. That means no kids, and no it isn't selfish to want to spend time with your significant other without your kids tagging along either. Come on everybody, isn't your partner the person who you spent all your time with before kids? Exactly, and why should they suddenly be put on the back burner just because you have kids now? The short answer is they shouldn't. Date night is a wonderful way to show the love of your life that you are still interested, and you still have that passion for them.
Don't Go to Bed Mad
My mom and dad always used to tell me that going to bed angry or leaving for work without saying I love you was a terrible idea because you don't know if you will ever see that same person again, and I totally agree with them. Your husband might leave for work one day, and something terrible might happen and you may never see him again. That is why no matter what kind of argument my husband and I have, we never leave for work angry, or go to bed angry at each other. Life is too short to hold grudges and marriage can be difficult, but working things out and learning to love deeper will only make your marriage stronger. Think about it, is it really worth staying upset for days at a time over something that is probably not worth to be upset about to begin with? Of course not! Do both of yourselves a favor, and learn to forgive and forget. Trust me on this one.
Make Time for Romance
This tip is especially important for keeping your love life alive, and showing your partner that you still have time for them. Think of fun and creative ways to get sexy in the bedroom, and experiment a bit if you have to. I know going out of your comfort zone may seem bizarre, but sometimes it is totally worth it. My husband and I even went as far as purchasing a new bed to get romantic on, and he loved it! Now when I refer to experimenting I am not referring to cheating, or involving others during that time, but I mean to just try new stuff that you and your boo have never tried before. I won't be explicit, but we all have the internet and I am sure you can find a few ideas on your own if you wanted to.
Small Gestures Go a Long Way
Another great piece of advice I can offer is try to take the time out of each day to show your significant other that you are thinking of them. Don't get too busy or too stressed out to show them you care in some way, each and every day. There will be days that I will just hang a sticky note on the fridge that says I love you, and I am thinking about you darling, or other days I might leave a romantic note on the seat of my husband's car so he sees it before he leaves for work. Little things like that sometimes bring more joy to someone than you can possibly imagine.
Sometimes You Have to Ignore Your Kids
We touched on this subject a little bit in the beginning of the article, but it is another important tip that most parents just don't understand or they think they are bad parents if they ignore their kids once in a while. We all know that kids are very needy, and sometimes you have to ignore them or else you won't have any time for yourself. If your kids are fighting with one another or they keep incessantly asking the same questions over and over, then just don't respond. So it is okay to ignore them if you and your first love are trying to spend time with one another as long as it isn't something that really requires your immediate attention (like a medical emergency).
The Moral of the Story
Your love life definitely does not have to be put on hold even if you have kids. It is up to you to find ways to show your spouse that you still care, and you're not trying hard enough if you make up excuses why you can't. If any of you have other advice that has helped your marriage please leave a comment below and let me know your secrets! Let's share with each other and learn from one another, so that we all can be better partners!