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Challenge: Life Changes

Life Changes, but You're Still You: How Having a Child Doesn't Change You

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When my husband and I first decided to jump headlong into this whole "offspring" thing, we really had no idea what our future would hold for us. People try to tell you what's coming, but there's honestly just no way to prepare someone for what a child does to you.e0bf94d3a32a53b32f1ec3774777d9b432331cebFor me, I had a bit of an identity crisis.

I had always wanted to be a mother. By the time I was old enough to babysit, I could not wait to get my hands on some kids. Big ones, little ones, ones with special needs, ones who were loud, ones who were quiet...I loved them all.

Then, I had my own.

I really had no idea what was about to happen. No one does, if they're honest with you. Well meaning folks try to tell you how to prepare, but there really is nothing that can prepare you for what lies ahead when you take on the role of parent.8cdbc07bd1d1e90ac23f9ce6fc857a058040dbb4So my identity crisis really hit home when I came to a self-realization that I didn't want to own up to. I wanted to have my own children, and I wanted to be their mother, but I was awakened to the reality soon after their birth that being "mother" was not my life goal after all.

For a long time, I felt very guilty about this revelation. So many women struggle to conceive or adopt, and here I am, with two children no less, that I am struggling to connect with. It doesn't help that their coming into this world was less than ideal, but that's a story for another time. What I really struggled with was accepting this new part of me while not allowing it to define me.

I have a passion for writing. I love to tell stories and paint pictures with words. I love people. I love to talk to them for hours on end and learn all about them. I also love debating who makes the best pizza and whether or not the beach is a better vacation than the mountains and lots of other interesting traits that make me a unique individual.

I am still who I was before my kids. All that's happened in the years since their birth is that I've added another layer to my personality.

A lot has changed, but a lot has stayed the same too. Yes, I probably watch a few more cartoons now than I used to, and, yes, we probably eat more mac 'n cheese than I can stand, but I also have my kids to thank for helping me see the world in a different way and befriend women I might not have otherwise befriended had we not both had the mutual bond of motherhood between us.

ce54b74f6ac44bd43c39fe9e30e711a3a5894207So thanks, kids, for changing me and helping make me a stronger individual at the same time. I only hope that I can inspire your life with mine one day.

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