Our kids hear us, they see us, and they are incredibly proud of us.
Today, I was reminded of that by my seven-year-old son's simple gesture of sharing a toy sent to me by a company that I then gave to him.
I walked by his room and overheard him informing his teacher and his class that "someone my mom does her writing for, they sent her this because she writes for them."
It wasn't really what he said, but HOW he said it and how he recognized (and shared) that Mommy does have work and things outside of caring for him and his sisters, and that apparently people enjoy it enough to send me (and him) things randomly in appreciation for my productivity.
I feel kinda silly divulging that this is even a "thing" for me, but it just felt awesome today for the random package to arrive — one I earned from my efforts —and for my kid to be stoked about its contents.
So often, as a busy mom, I feel a bit unseen and under-appreciated.
As a by-choice stay-at-home parent, though I love the role and want to be home, I often feel under-utilized as a human. Meaning I feel like I could and should "adult" more — that I have a crapton to say, I'm pretty good at delivering whatever message that is, and that I've got skills that stretch beyond motherhood, the raising of my tiny humans, and the handprint-coated walls of my home.
Before the pandemic, I could at least engage with other humans at school drop-off and pickup, volunteer opportunities, sports practices and games, at the gym, and even via hosting a podcast with a dear author/doctor friend of mine. These days, I talk to myself, my ten personalities, and my husband when he's not working, which is like only half an hour at the end of the day.
And, so, well, sometimes, little reminders — from your little people who stress you to the max but who you love so dearly — about how you're pretty cool, talented, and a person with a role in the world just outside of them — are nice.
My job as their parent will forever be my most sacred responsibility.
I have no doubt I was put on Earth to mother my three children, and it will always be my greatest accomplishment and a position I will never stop thanking God for.
But second to my job as their parent is offering up to this world and its people whatever I've got left, and ideally that's through doing something that I've either gone to school for, am good at, or enjoy.
So when this pandemic is over, and all my kiddos are in regular school, I'll likely get back at it, and by "it," I mean a job outside of my home.
I'm sure I'll be heard there.
I'm sure I'll be seen there.
But it's a toss-up if I'll make the adult crowd proud.
Until then, I'm going to keep my head up and remember that all that matters for now (and really ever) is that my birthed one-day-to-be adults,
and are proud of me.
And that even when that's unclear, or it doesn't entirely feel like it,
they still do
and are proud of me.
And do you know why I’m proud of me?
Because I’m giving to this world humans who
hear all people,
see all people,
and are ready and willing to be proud of all people.