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The most essential steps for effective parenting

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Raising children is one of the most difficult and satisfying tasks in the world and one for which you may feel that you are less prepared. Here are the tips for raising a child that can help you feel more satisfied as a parent and, also, to enjoy your children more.

1. Encourage your child's self-esteem

Children begin to develop their sense of self as babies when they see themselves through the eyes of their parents. Their children assimilate their tone of voice, their body language, and all their expressions. Your words and actions as a parent have an impact on the development of your self-esteem more than anything else. The praise of the achievements, even if they are small, will make the children proud; allowing them to do things on their own will make them feel that they are capable and strong. On the contrary, demeaning comments or negative comparisons with other children will make them feel useless.

2. Recognize good actions

Did you ever stop to think how many times a day you have negative reactions to your children? You may find that you criticize them many times more than you congratulate them. How would you feel if a boss treated you in such a negative way, even if it was with good intentions?

The most positive approach is to recognize the good actions of the children: "You choose furniture on Aosom or made the bed without being asked, that's great! These comments will be much more effective in encouraging long-term good behavior than ongoing reprimands.

3. Set limits and be consistent with the discipline

In all houses, discipline is necessary. The goal of the discipline is to help children choose acceptable behaviors and learn to self-control. They may test the limits you set, but they are essential for them to become responsible adults.

Putting rules in the house helps children understand their expectations and develop self-control.

4. Make time for your children

It is often difficult for parents and children to get together for a family meal, or to think about quality time together. However, there is probably nothing that children would like more than that. Get up 10 minutes early in the morning to have breakfast with your children or leave the dishes in the sink and go for a walk after dinner. Children who do not get the attention they want from their parents often overreact or misbehave because, in that way, they are sure that they will receive their attention.

5. Be a good role model

Young children learn a lot about how to act by observing their parents. The smaller, the more they imitate it. Before reacting aggressively or in front of your child, think about the following: is this how you want the child to behave when angry? Always be aware that your children are watching you. Studies have shown that, in general, children who give blows imitate the model of aggression in their homes.

6. Make communication a priority

You cannot expect children to do everything just because you as a parent "say so". They want and deserve explanations just like adults. If we do not spend time giving explanations, the children will begin to question our values and motivations, and if these have foundations. Parents who reason with their children allow them to understand and learn without making judgments.

7. Show that your love is unconditional

As a parent, you are responsible for the correction and gaudiness of your children. However, the way in which he expresses his corrective orientation has a great influence on the way in which a child receives it. When you have to confront your child, avoid blaming, criticizing or looking for faults; all this can weaken self-esteem and cause resentment. Instead, make an effort to educate and encourage, even when you discipline your children. Make sure they know that, even if you want and hope for something better next time, your love is unconditional.

8. Be aware of your own needs and limitations as a parent

Face it: you are not a perfect father. As head of the family, you have strengths and weaknesses. Recognize your abilities: "I am loving and dedicated". Promise to work on their weaknesses: "I must be more consistent with the discipline." Try to have realistic expectations for yourself, your spouse and your children. You do not need to know all the answers: be lenient with yourself.

This post comes from the TODAY Parenting Team community, where all members are welcome to post and discuss parenting solutions. Learn more and join us! Because we're all in this together.