I'm sorry. Not because I should feel apologetic or because that is the right thing to say. I feel actual regret and shame from this.
Here's the thing.
I saw you from the second I walked into my son's martial arts gym.
You were in a full face of makeup, shorts smaller than my underwear, and shoes that matched what I could only assume was a wildly high priced handbag.
I didn't judge you because of anything I knew about you because we've never met.
I had an instant reaction because I didn't understand you.
Your insanely on point eyeshadow, gorgeous mom tee, and beautiful tan was an equation I couldn't solve. I mean, you were holding a new baby and you had TWO other kids.
I didn't understand you anymore than you did me, I'm sure.
I saw you staring. And that's okay.
I'm sure you saw my raggedy oversized shirt and stained sweats and thought, "She probably lived in a trailer." (Tiny house, but yes.)
You may have noticed my unwashed hair and said, "She probably wears yoga pants all day." (Girl, yes!)
And when your beautiful little daughter began to strut in her glittery high heels and you had her practicing her pageant walk while I was trying to peel my girl from climbing the fence in her dress, I assumed we'd never understand each other.
But then you did a thing.
You began feeding your baby--right there in public. I all but stood up and cheered.
I'd have done the same thing. I DID do the same thing three years ago.
Sisters, lean in. This is important.
Sure we might not look like we have anything in common. Of course I attempt a smokey eye and end up looking like I got sucker punched. Definitely you'd think the four pair of shoes I own are an abomination.
But inside--where things actually matter--we are all much more the same than we are different.
We are all daughters and sisters, friends and mamas. We are women who have dance parties and wish we had more girl's nights. We are wives who sometimes feel inadequate and we are women battling our self-worth as stay at home moms or working moms.
I'm sorry I judged you.
You didn't deserve that anymore than I did.
We need each other.
We are all raising kids to be kind but our children are smart and they see and soak in infinitely more of what we do than what we say.
So I hope I see you at the gym next week so I can tell you how impressively gorgeous your are and take time to ask you your secrets. I mean WHY is there a colored pencil for your face!? I feel confident you know.
Let's stick together on this. We are battling far too much without fighting each other.