​I spend most of my days trying to “keep it together” in the world of motherhood. Not lose my cool (too often), keep up with my “to do’s (good luck with that), and not let any balls drop (yeah, right!). I find myself constantly apologizing for not being good enough. But some things I am just not going to apologize for doing. Are they a little strange? Maybe. But I know I’m not alone….

• 1)Sitting in the Target parking lot. You totally know you’ve done this. It may have been Walmart or Costco, but sometimes the only quiet time we have is the few minutes in our car before we run into the grocery store or dash into another retailer to get the three items we need (which usually turns into 30 items and $200 dollars). I’ll take my “time out” wherever and whenever I can get it!
• 2)Stashing food. Food goes FAST in my house. I don’t eat a lot…in fact, I could probably live on just coffee and SkinnyGirl margaritas. That being said, from time to time, I do buy something that I really want to eat. Maybe it’s crackers or chocolate or some other delicious item that strikes my fancy. If I put it in the pantry…it’s gone. Soooo…I resort to food stashing. Sometimes in my car, maybe my office, and frequently hidden behind a decoy like a stale cereal box or something no one will touch.
• 3)Using the sniff test. In my younger days, I thought the sniff test was reserved for uncleanly boyfriends trying to see if they could get away with wearing the same outfit another day. I have come to realize that the sniff test comes in handy quite often for busy moms as well. Wondering if the bread that expired two days ago is still good? Sniff. Forgot to do the kids’ laundry and your son needs his basketball uniform? Sniff. Finally got in a quick workout and need to dash to the kids’ soccer game, unshowered? Sniff and maybe a little spray of perfume.
• 4)Eating or drinking food right out of the container (especially ice cream). Yes, I yell at my husband and kids for doing this. And yes, I do it too when no one is watching. Get over it!
• 5)Use social media to assess happiness. I still haven’t decided if Facebook is a blessing or a curse. Sure, it’s great to see what everyone is up to, but I find that I constantly compare myself to friends and family members. Are they having more fun than me? Are their kids better at sports? Are they happier? I’ve thought about taking a hiatus from Facebook to try to become better adjusted. Who am I kidding? LIKE!
• 6)Saying “I’m fine.” Yes, it’s a lie. If I speak those words it means I’m not fine, I’m not okay, and depending on whom you are, I may or may not want to talk about it. (And men say women are confusing…hmmmm). “I’m fine” is a coping mechanism that women have developed to show each other that we are strong. It also should be a cue to our significant others that they have really pissed us off!

Alas…I’m sure these are just the tip of the proverbial iceberg. But I may need to head to the Target parking lot, my happy place, to figure the rest of them out.