Uh oh, she stopped calling. And she’s not returning your texts, either. You know she’s seen your Facebook messages. So what gives? Why is your favorite mom friend suddenly giving you the cold shoulder after all this time? Sometimes when they say “It’s not you, it’s me” it really isn’t you. And sometimes, well, it actually is you. Of course, it could be the kids who are throwing a wrench into your friendship.

You might never actually find out why you were mom dumped!

But just in case you can’t stop thinking about why someone would let a catch like you loose, here are the seven most common reasons moms dump other moms:

Your eyes are glued to your phone. Seriously, look up and be present for once because your bestie is bored and your kid is over there trying to dig his way into the electrical socket with a fork. Your mom friends would stage an intervention because you’re clearly addicted to Facebook but you won’t put your phone down so what are they supposed to do?

You treat your Facebook friend list like Care.com. We all have childcare emergencies now and then, but if you’re constantly asking your mom friends for sits maybe it’s time you found a real babysitter. Or you could start a babysitting co-op. Just stop treating your friends like service providers. Remember that they have lives, too.

You vaccinate your kids. Or you don’t vaccinate. Either way, you made the mistake of talking about it. Along with money, religion, sex, and politics, vaccination is probably something that shouldn’t be discussed in polite company. Tempers run hot around this topic and there’s literally no way to meet in the middle. Bringing up childhood vaccination at moms’ group is almost never going to end well.

You’re too perfect. Stop Instagramming your perfect pin-worthy kids, crafts, house, and husband. Stop blogging about how much you love everything about this life. Humble bragging about not gaining pregnancy weight. The rest of us come to moms’ group to let it all out after a week of holding it all in. Isn’t there something – anything – you need to bitch about? Seriously, you’re making the rest of us look bad. What is going on behind the scenes?

You’re a one-upper. When you find out little Jimmy over there just got into that exclusive preschool everyone’s talking about, you have to bring up the fact that your little Johnny was pre-approved for Harvard admission in 2035. Or worse, Jimmy just got fitted for hearing aids and you have to retell the story of little Johnny’s VP shunt. Pro tip: motherhood is not a contest.

Your kids are kind of rough on other people’s stuff. Or they’re mean or spoiled or they’re bullies. Look, we’ve all had those moments where our babies suddenly turn into monsters. Maybe it’s a one-time thing. Maybe it’s a phase. But the rest of us are over here, faces beet red, disciplining our kids while wishing we could crawl into a hole in the floor. You’re still convinced your kid’s destructive antics are just so super cute. They’re not.

Or the kids are simply driving you apart. It’s just a fact that kids don’t exactly enhance adult relationships. When you and your local mom friends are all toting babies on your hips, it’s easy to stay connected. But when her kid’s in soccer and goes to karate three times a week and yours is in after-school enrichment plus weekend Mandarin lessons, when exactly are you supposed to hang?

Sometimes it’s just easier to cut your losses. Sometimes you just have to know why you got dumped. But consider that maybe your ex-mom friend just needs a little space right now. Take this opportunity to spend time with your other besties or to make new mom friends. Seriously, you’re probably a great catch so get out there and get social!