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9 Ways to Be a No-Go Parent: How to do your most annoying errands from your couch.

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I don’t get out much. It’s an acquired skill, actually.

I’ve got two big kids and a baby who needs to sleep about 16 hours a day – in his crib. So when he’s awake – and I’m home – I don’t want to be spending our time together running errands. We have a one-pop-in rule on our days together. All other errands must be done from my couch.

Or they won’t be done at all.

Here are the regular things you might need to leave the house for, that I’ve outsourced or found a work-around. Share yours below!

  1. Grocery shopping. There are sooo many apps for that. Peapod, Instacart, Roche Bros. They all have delivery services so you can shop from your phone. Delivery fees are about $10, but you can often get coupons (Google it) to save the charge.
  2. Beer and booze. The Drizly app is like liquor meets Uber. You shop and they deliver to you. Just stock up because there’s a $5 fee and you need to tip.
  3. Kids shoes and clothes. Zappos delivers their stuff in 24 hours. And Carters.com has cute, inexpensive stuff you won’t mind getting ruined. Just wait for the extra coupons or free shipping codes and you can exercise your pointer finger buying a seasons’ worth of clothes.
  4. Drug store stuff. The prescription thing I haven’t figured out (except when they mail you your recurring ones). I did purposely choose a doctor’s office with a pharmacy inside, so I could fill scripts in one stop. Most other drug store products can be bought on Diapers.com or Amazon. But if you like those CVS coupons – or generics, you might have to go to a live store. And see real people. Weird.
  5. Bulk items. When it comes to places like Costco and BJs, I should not be allowed to go in there with children, as the ginormous box of trash bags could take priority over baby’s spot in the cart (and in the car). Boxed.com is the online version of buying in bulk. No membership needed and they ship things to you for free – when you spend over $50.
  6. My shoes and clothes. Free shipping and free returns is my policy. My three favorite sites? Piperlime, Nordstrom and Zappos. The only thing missing is a localized TJ Maxx app with their personal shopper delivery. But sometimes that’s worth some solitary shopping time.
  7. Kid necessities. Despite the name, Diapers.com will take you from cradle to college. And if you sign up for regular orders, you save about a dollar per product. I just needed a rash guard and swim diapers for the baby – ordered it – and will have it tomorrow.
  8. Birthday party presents. When it comes to never-ending kiddie birthday parties, I’m Amazon Prime all the way. We get the presents in 2 days and the family can ship it back for free if there are any problems. And when my kids’ birthday parties require major paper purchases, I’ll be back.
  9. Take-out. Foodler has a great way of localizing the restaurants and delivering their goods to you, fast, and often without an additional fee. And since getting takeout can often be a parent’s new “date night,” you can totally set up the delivery that morning, and not even think about it again until the dude is ringing the bell with the best smelling Pad Thai you’ll ever eat!

By no means am I an agoraphobe, but I work four days a week so my time with my kids has become sacred. The weekends should be about our family – not our crappy to-do list. And sometimes that’s worth a little extra money in delivery to not deal with the stress and frustration of lugging kids to and fro. And don’t even get me started on parking my ginormo car in narrowly-lined parking lots, letting all the kids climb out – without scratching our car or another person’s – keeping everyone safe in a busy lot -- and then lugging the 22-pound baby in his 10 pound bucket seat into the store.

See? Download the apps. It will save (some) of your sanity.

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