Yesterday my oldest started 1st grade. This time last year I was an emotional mess! I'd even begun crying periodically 6 months prior to Kindergarten starting. I couldn't talk about it, if anyone brought it up I just replied "I cant or I'll start crying". I was so afraid I'd be the only mom emotional(that I would see), and you know what? I was. I tried taking slow, deep breaths, but this wave of deep emotion came up like an ocean wave. I couldn't stop it and so it began. Me, bawling my eyes out, in front of everyone. My husband of course......not shedding 1 tear, and not knowing quite how to help me.

What was I afraid of? Why was this so hard? I was afraid of letting our baby bird out of the comfy, safe nest that we'd made for 6 years. I kept her hands washed, tummy fed, eyes rested, voice listened to, tears wiped, clothes clean, made her laugh, went on walks together, and it was with her that our "craft time" began. All those memories of the past 6 years rushed through my brain. I was afraid of school shootings or someone stealing her, a tornado, all the what-ifs. So I came home and cried some more and called some girlfriends to help me cope. I called my mom and she told me the story of how hard it was for her when I started school. I'd had 6 years to prepare for this, and yet it was overwhelmingly hard.

Throughout her Kindergarten year, as I'd drop her off, and watch her walk into school, I would still tear up occasionally. Yesterday as we dropped her off for first grade, I felt a little more put-together. I wasn't emotional and nor did I shed 1 tear. Instead, I was the one consoling several of my close girlfriends because they'd just dropped off their Kindergartner. I'd freshly remembered the painful emotions I went through. My heart ached for them and I tried to comfort them with how I knew to.

You arent alone, and while you may cry, realize that next year, most likely you'll be consoling your friends! There's something about leaving the nest, even if its temporary. Life prepares you in baby steps. It takes a little piece of your heart at a time. Accept the emotion, its real, its authentic, the unknown and taking chances, that is what life is all about. Its there because you love your children. I can almost guarantee though, that the second day wont be as bad as the first. You'll realize the days go fast and that letting them fly out of the nest one day at a time isn't all that bad! I'm sending all the new kindergartner parents a big hug! #havefaith