The good thing about mom life is that you don’t have time to dwell. You are so busy that it is hard to find the time to really self-loathe the way you used to—the good head-in-the-pillow-not-wanting-to-get-out-of-bed way.
Today I had to put in a little time and effort on myself, because we were going out to dinner at a restaurant that’s dress code, required more than grungy sweatpants, big t-shirts, and bunhead. Yes, Good old public dining. So, while I was getting ready, with the weekend benefit of my husband watching the girls, I was able to put more than the usual two-minutes into myself. While I was applying eyeliner to my lower lids, I looked in the mirror hard.
My forehead lines looked more prominent than usual, boobs droopy—pumping these last eight months hasn’t done wonders for them. Then the old voice came creeping back: I looked down at my thighs and butt-- they looked bigger than usual in these tighter pants. I felt gross. I felt off. I didn’t want to go anywhere. I wasn’t worth it.
I was still wrapped in a trance of negativity when getting my girls dressed. I needed to snap out of my funk. I didn’t want my toddler to realize something was wrong with mama. I had an idea. I took my baby to the bathroom and took a photo. Yes, we looked in the mirror together good and hard. Her and me. She smiled a wide-two-tooth-grin at that sweet baby in the mirror, and I smiled back at that baby in the mirror and the person who created her.
I took a photo because I couldn’t be ugly with my baby smiling back at me.
I took a photo because I needed that reminder of what beauty really is.
I took a photo because it made me remember the woman in the mirror’s worth.
So mama, the next time you are feeling bad about yourself I want you to to counter those thoughts by taking a photo. You are a warrior mom; and sometimes you need that reminder. Take that photo with your baby and when you look down at it, I guarantee all you will see is beauty. I did--because look at what I created. I challenge you to do the same.
As a bonus tag your mirror photo in the comments.
This post originally appeared on the author's Facebook