Parenting is one of the toughest jobs that there is and it can have immense negative impacts on certain relationships. For those parents that did not plan on having kids so they did not discuss important aspects of raising the children can be in constant strife. Something as simple as what religion to raise a child can cause a fight that can end marriage as religion can become quite contentious. The truth is that some marriages just are not meant to be long term and will end in divorce. An amicable divorce is possible though and should be the goal when you have children. The following will help aid in a divorce that emphasizes the good of the children involved.
Be Honest About How Should Get The Children
The children are usually the largest point of fighting between a couple getting divorced. Be honest when you are talking about who should get custody of the children. If one party works 70 hour weeks then the other parent with more time on their hands should get the children. The old practice of the mother getting custody a majority of the time has become much more even with fathers being awarded custody. If one of you works at home this person should get the children as they will be around the house more. This can get tricky when one person is unemployed as it will put an imposition on the other party if they want their children cared for appropriately. Be honest who should get the kids with the best interest of your children in mind if you are a decent parent at all.
Divide Property Fairly Instead of Trying To “Win” The Divorce
You need to do research and look at case results when picking a lawyer as many of these professionals have these on their website. Divide property fairly instead of trying to take a prized possession from your former spouse. This can make it extremely difficult to co-parent in the future if one party is living in a mansion while the other has now transitioned to a studio apartment. If there is some kind of prenuptial agreement then this will be legally binding. The last thing you want to do is have your children see their parent struggle due to you being vindictive.
Set Out a Proposed Schedule If Both Parents Will Share Custody
Letting a court set out a proposed schedule for visitation or dual custody can lead to an arrangement that is not convenient for either party. Being able to sit down and write out a schedule is important as one parent can actually make life easier for the other while seeing their children more in cases of picking up and dropping off from school. Do not let your pride impact how much you let your children see their parent even if the marriage ended in an ugly manner. Your children deserve parents that respect each other and want the best for the children as well as each other.
As you can see it is more than possible to have a divorce that doesn’t end in hating your former spouse. You need to try to do this for the kids as divorce is tough on everyone.
This post comes from the TODAY Parenting Team community, where all members are welcome to post and discuss parenting solutions. Learn more and join us! Because we're all in this together.