Around this counter…

This is the time of year when we celebrate holiday traditions. Traditions both big and small add meaning and connection to the holiday season. We often associate traditions with holidays but what about the ordinary ones that begin organically and forever impact the trajectory of family life…

Here is one of our’s…

I just finished wiping down my kitchen counter AGAIN. This counter receives a lot of love and attention. Toaster crumbs, coffee drips, dinner prep remnants, etc. I am the Super Hero that swoops in and restores the magic until the next offender drops by. And they drop by often. Those evil visually impaired mess makers. (Full disclosure…I’m not perfect…it is 9AM and I am wiping last night’s dinner remains but sometimes you just gotta know when it’s time to throw in the (dish) towel and call it a night.)

Each and every morning of my kids’ lives have started at this counter…

Early morning made to order breakfasts and school lunches were prepped here with love and care. I can still recall the contents of each of my three kids’ personalized lunches. My goal for those meals was that they had to be tasty, nourishing, satiating and 95% healthy. Moms today have been on the healthy train for awhile whereas when my kids were younger healthy lifestyle choices were just beginning. I would apologize to my kids that I was not putting a bunch of junk in their lunch boxes. I would explain that I loved them too much to let them eat crap. And they respected and trusted my judgement. Never ever complaining…most likely because the punishment would have been titled “This little task of love can now be all your’s.”

Like most homes today, my kids would enter our home through the garage into our mudroom. No sooner had they dropped their backpacks they’d comment on the aroma of dinner cooking. “Smells good! What’s for dinner?” It never mattered what happened at school that day…good or bad…somehow the promise of a delicious dinner would temporarily assuage any ill memory.

But first…

There came the after school snack…

There was always time! It didn’t matter if they had to head out to a job, a sport/dance practice, catechism, driver’s training…the after school snack never got old. I would always have a little something at the ready to make coming home a comfort and a celebration. Sometimes I could barely contain myself and would send them a little teaser picture at school to ignite the excitement.

If you asked my kids what they remember most about our snack sessions they probably would not say it was the actual snack…I would bet my last dollar they’d each say it was our chats. They shared it all with me. Their joy, their funny stories, along with their challenges and their disappointments. I rejoiced right along with them and hurt when they hurt.

I may have enticed them with good food but it was my ears that kept them coming back day after day, week after week, year after year…

Our after school snack days are long over. The kids have cycled in and out of the house through college and post college life. When they come over for dinner we still cram around our counter. There are significant others that have joined and they too get wedged right in. There is something so intimate and comfortable about gathering around our counter. Even during the pandemic we still huddled together trying not to fear each other’s close proximity.

We used to have a large round dining room table in our kitchen that we never ever sat around. I expressed to my friend Janet while she was visiting us several years ago that we prefer to eat at our counter and what a waste of a good table and large dining space. Janet who is known for her great decor advice quickly sprung into action and moved my kitchen table into our yet to be furnished dining room and then brought up some furniture from our basement that was not being used and created an inviting coffee lounge area in the old kitchen dining area space. Till this day this sunshiny cozy kitchen nook is our favorite hang out area (next to the kitchen counter).

So what exactly makes a home a home? And what keeps grown children wanting to come back? I would have to say with 100% certainty that it is the feeling of being welcomed, comfortable, cared for and loved. (A warm tray of lasagna can’t hurt either…)