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Challenge: Perfectly Imperfect Parenting

Backseat Bickering: How I Managed My Kids on Our Last Road Trip

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I had never seen how bad backseat bickering can really get until I took my kids on our first road trip together, and I was woefully unprepared to deal with it. I also underestimated just how hard it would be to keep them entertained during the long drive. I ended up dealing with constant complaining that was only broken up by fights and even a few bouts of crying. It all made trying to drive a mentally and emotionally draining mess.

It was horrible. I had to pull over twice to have a talk with my kids. By the time we got to our destination, no one was happy, and I was just about to cry myself. But I love driving and my mind was set on having road trips be a family tradition for us, so I refused to let that terrible first experience discourage me.

As soon as we got home from our trip, I got to work researching ways to keep backseat bickering to a minimum. I took notes, formulated plans, ran small-scale tests while driving them around town, and a couple of weeks later I was ready to try another road trip with the kids. A shorter one, this time.

Well, I'm back from that trip as I write this, and I'm happy to report that my strategies were a huge success. So much so that I wanted to get it in writing and share it, so that other parents can try what I did. Let's go over some of the changes I made.

One of the main things I changed was getting the kids more excited about the trip. Last time around they weren't really familiar with the destination, so for the second trip I showed pictures, talked about things we'd see, and I even let my oldest daughter choose a few activities to include in our itinerary. That helped make sure everyone was excited about the trip before it even started.

I also made sure my kids were sleepy on the day of the trip. I had my partner stay up later than usual playing with the kids, while I went to bed early. The next day, I was well-rested for the drive, and we got in the car before sunrise. After getting snuggly in their blankets, the kids spend a good 2 hours either asleep or close to it. By the time they had enough energy to be bored, we were done with almost half the day's drive.

Of course, all of this meant my kids didn't have breakfast before leaving. So I planned ahead and scouted somewhere nice where we could stop for breakfast while planning the trip. Stopping for pancakes and some rest lifted the mood of everyone in the car.

Finally, I made sure everyone had enough entertainment for the duration of the trip. Last time, all the kids had was whatever was on their phones. This time I went phone by phone installing games, fun apps, and movies to keep them entertained. I also encouraged the kids to prepare their own fun.

All and all, these efforts combined led to a much more pleasant trip. I'm now looking forward to trying this on longer trips, but for now, I'm just happy things got better for the second trip. I had also prepared some conflict resolution strategies if things got ugly — I was ready to have my partner sit in the backseat to prevent bickering and to pull over again until things calmed down — but those didn't end up being necessary.




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