Parenting is hard, everyone tells you that and before the first baby comes, you really don't believe it. In today's society, with social media having such a large influence on our lives, it makes even the simplest things much more difficult. It also removes the human aspect, giving way to a tirade of negativity from people who have forgotten that the words they type will impact the recipient.

When our son was born, initially we posted a lot about him. He was premature and spent time in the NICU, as first time parents, we were overwhelmed and needed the positive support. We needed people to be there for us, even if they were just on a screen. And we needed to show how proud we were of our little fighter. But then we found out that our posts were being shared and eventually, while still in the NICU, started receiving negative comments about my health, his health and why he was early. After one particular confrontation of "well, I talked to X and they said if you had done this and if you had a better OB, none of this would have happened", we made the decision to stop posting about him, and 18 months later, that is still going strong. It's hard enough having a baby in the NICU, we did not need additional stress.

That's not to say our decision has positive, we have received backlash about not posting about him, comments that we do not love him because we do not post about him and that we are not good parents because what we post makes us look like we are still childless. The initial wave of comments was tough. Eventually, we set up a secret group on Facebook and invited those closest to us to join. Now, every time I post something about how wonderful our preemie is doing, I laugh a little because I know that those who have made comments are more tortured by not seeing my son on Facebook than I am by their comments. We receive nothing but positive reinforcement and support from those in our group, that's why they are part of it.

We have also physically cut people out of our lives because of their negativity. As a NICU parent, you learn very quickly that there are people who are going to be there for you with every up and down, and people who will abandon you when you need them the most. For the most part, these relationships were problems for us pre-kid and they did not get better post-kid. We learned that even with the most immediate family, we were not a priority and to some, not even considered a part of their family.

We made the decision to put our son first, that means also taking into consideration his emotional and mental well being as he ages. Those relationships were hard on us to maintain, emotionally and mentally, and it's not fair to subject him to people who will not be nice to him, have made it clear they do not love him or want a part in our lives or to have him see them be hurtful towards us.

It sucks to not be able to share our son with every random friend we have, but I will say that it has cut a lot of stress and drama from our lives. I have very much enjoyed the past 18 months with my son, mostly free of judgment and negativity. In a time of sharing every last detail of our lives, we've chosen to remain private.