Dysfunctional:

a : not functioning properly : marked by impaired or abnormal functioning

b : characterized by abnormal or unhealthy interpersonal behavior or interaction

Since the 1980’s the word dysfunctional has been used to describe family dynamics. Talk show hosts paraded family members on screen for entertainment and the more obnoxious the better.

With the holiday’s fast approaching I see many people talking about their family and using the word dysfunctional. I used to look at people and think wow they really have it together and their home must be amazing! Then they start telling me stories and I sit back and think holy smokes my family almost seems normal, and that’s saying something!

Let’s face it we all have something or someone in our family that makes the word fit in our life.

So how do we make it a little more enjoyable for everyone involved? I was joking with my cousins today that I have extra anti-anxiety medication if they needed some or I was willing to send wine. I then stopped and asked myself why would you need to take anything in order to cope with a family member? I get it they are family and blood blah blah blah but do you really need to sacrifice your own joy to make someone else happy? Do you really need to tote yourself and your kids to this house and that house on Christmas day to only be miserable?

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.” ~Garrison Keillor

I don’t believe you do. I think this is a bad lesson to teach children that behaviors are acceptable and to turn a blind eye to keep the peace. Sometimes you need to speak your mind and situations need to be dealt with prior to everyone gathering. I know this is not always possible as some deal with mental illness etc. but for the most part inappropriate behaviors should not be overlooked.

If the thought of being around someone physically affects you it is time to reevaluate!

Easier said than done you say? Not really. I have gone for months without speaking to family members because of their behavior. They are aware that I don’t approve and I refuse to subject myself or my family to it. Same goes for the holidays or any other family gathering. If you can’t put on your adult breeches and not cause drama, then you are not welcome. Your feelings and opinions are not above anyone else’s.

The holidays should be a time to relax and enjoy each other’s company. A chance to unwind from the year of go go go and breath. A gathering of great memories, fun times with great food. I hope y’all achieve Holiday Happiness this year wherever you may be.