I grew up never knowing what love was, and it was hard to understand. I had nothing showing me what love felt like or how it felt to express love to one another. Without feeling or expressing unconditional love, it created low self-esteem within me. I never thought I would amount to anything and never thought there was a future for me to be successful. I feel as though never seeing the nurturing side of love created this outlook that I needed to prove myself to others to be loved. It has been a journey to reframe my mind on what it means to be loved and to give love. Over the years, I have learned what unconditional love means, and become a foster dad has been a huge part of that.

I still struggle when someone shows me, love. My mindset goes into a repel and run-away mode whenever someone expresses love and affection towards me because it does not make sense to me at times. But becoming a dad has shown me how easy and natural love truly is and what it feels like to say I love you or how it feels to be loved in return.

I try to show my kids to heal and grow through the trauma, that being loved and feeling loved with help. Unconditional love is something we work on every day in our house. It is a struggle when you are not used to it. It feels foreign and unnatural. BUT love IS natural!! Even though I am trying to help my kids heal and view love differently, they help me as well.

My kids have been asking about Valentine's Day because they want to celebrate. I'm excited to show my kids that I love them not only on Feb 14th – but every day. Personally, Valentine's Day does not make that much sense to me, but I think it will be a fun way to bond with the kids on the topic of love and kindness.

I want my kids to know that they are loved, and cared for EVERY DAY! But, today on this special Holiday we are going to show the people around us that they are loved and cared for as well. I have plans to get my kid's chocolates and write them special notes. We are also going to write kind notes to their teachers, and show them how much we appreciate everything they do.

I think Valentine's Day is a nice reminder for everyone that kindness and showing love can go a long way. A special note can bring a smile to someone’s face that may have had a tough week, and needed a little reminder on how important they are.

Today will be a great way to show my kids just how important giving love is as well as getting love. They will see how good it feels to express their gratitude towards someone else that means a lot to them. They will see how acting in love and kindness truly can brighten someone's day.

Thank you for following along with my family, and I hope you get to spread some extra love and kindness around today!

Happy Valentine’s Day.

Blessings,

Peter Mutabazi

Writer Samantha Jordan contributed to this essay.

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