We all feel like outsiders sometimes, and I think we are programmed that way. If we are left out of plans, we feel bad. If we don’t have time to make mom friends because we are too busy tending to other responsibilities, we feel bad. No matter what we do, we can’t always be with everyone at the same time.
When I am playing with my daughter and her friends at a play space, I am on the outside of the chit-chatting moms--laughing, talking about their kids, husbands, lives. I am missing out on what is going on in adult world.
When I am painting my toddler’s nails, the baby is left to do her own thing. She is on the outskirts of us, playing with her baby toys.
When I am dancing with my baby in my arms, my toddler is left to dance next to us, and if she chooses not to join us, she becomes the one on the outside.
Though it is never our intention, it’s what happens.
We are all outsiders at times, but I think we should start thinking about it in a different light.
We choose where we are going to be.
Maybe I choose to be with the toddlers over the group of mommies because at that moment I'd rather play with my kids and that's more than okay. Yes, I am missing out on adult world conversation, but they are missing out on the moments I am having with the toddlers. We are all giving and taking, missing out on something.
Maybe circumstances make the choice for me, but that doesn’t make me an outsider. That just makes it, simply what it is. I am where I am supposed to be at that moment.
Because when you are a mom and feel like an outsider, you may feel like the odd one out at that moment, but in reality, you are never alone. Your heart and hands are so filled with the love of your children. If you think about it like this, you will be giving the term outsider new meaning, and feeling better about your sensitive mama self.
This article was originally posted on the author's Facebook.