My husband and I wanted to be parents like most couples. Little did we know the road ahead.

After starting fertility treatment and undergoing IVF we soon became pregnant only to end in a miscarriage. Doctors brushed it off as a common thing for a first pregnancy. "Common" how hard that was to hear after years of trying and to finally see a little flicker on the screen only to be told it would not live another week.

After suffering another miscarriage my insurance now covered a blood test called Karyotype test. It checks was to check or chromosomes. I got the call 2 weeks later. "Your husbands chromosomes are normal .... Yours I'm afraid are not." Those words echoed in my head. I'm not normal! I have what's called a Balanced Translocation. When our chromosomes try to match up they will usually fail resulting in a miscarriage.

Our next option was IVF with PGS. After the first try we got pregnant and I had a beautiful baby girl at 36 weeks. NICU was mentioned but luckily was not needed.

My next IVF cycle resulted in miscarriage.

I then choose to try again as soon as possible with my last chromosomally normal embryo. It worked! We were pregnant and things were going great until about 8 weeks I started bleeding. I was scarred to death that this was the end but little did I know it was just the beginning of the bumpy road ahead. The doctor said the baby was fine but I would need to rest due to a hematoma on my uterus.

At 33 weeks I felt a ton of pressure but figured it's my second pregnancy and they say you feel stuff sooner. The doctor told me to go to hospital to be checked out. Once at the hospital they said I was in preterm labor and unfortunately I was too far along for it to be stopped with medication. I received only one shot for baby's lungs due to her coming so quickly.

Once she was born she was immediately rushed to the NICU. One of the hardest moments of my life . I sent my husband with her but I still had no answers. Was she ok? Breathing? Was she going to make it? How big or small is she?

My first time entering the NICU the nurse wheeled me up to the sink to wash. Little did I know my hands would be washed there multiple times a day for the next month. I was then wheeled into the room where they were stabilizing her. I couldn't even count all of the tubes and wires that were attached to her. I couldn't see her face. She was in an isolette. Did she know I was there? Could she hear me? Tears pored down my face my poor poor baby . I failed her. I didn't keep her in long enough. The beeping echoed in my head of the oxygen/heart rate machine. They told me they would take care of her and for me to go get some rest why they get her set up in her room. REST what does that mean?!

I went back to the room and wondered if the doctors would call who would let me know if she needed me? The worst few hours of REST I ever got. The next morning I went to see her and again the tears I could barely speak to the nurse. Little did I know there were angels on earth. NICU Nurses are truly angels on earth.

The month long NICU stay had many ups and downs. A huge challenge was having a toddler at home that also needed me. I couldn't spend as much time as I would of liked checking on her but that's where the nurses were a huge help. I could call at any hour and get an update.

Everyday that went by grew harder and harder . I knew in my head she was getting stronger but to not have my family all together was hard. Pumping every two hours was hard the nurse told me to look at her pictures to help so I spent every two hours crying. Slowly the good news started coming but then there would be a set back. It was such a rollercoaster of emotions.

It was soon discharge day! She could go home ! We were so excited but again that night I got zero rest. She didn't have any monitors hooked up how would I know if her oxygen was dropping or if her heart rate was ok? These fears lasted a long time but she is home and over a year later doing great!

Thank you NICU for taking such great care of my sweet little girl! We names her "Nora" which means light. She is the light at the end of a very dark tunnel.