After trying for almost 2 years, we received a positive pregnancy test on 10/13/18. We had our 8 week ultrasound on 11/08/18 and got to see our baby on the screen. It was such a wonderful feeling to see. On 11/27/18, we had our 11 week ultrasound and that is when we learned that I had a miscarriage. Those words instantly break your heart and at the same time you have no idea what to do next. We met with our doctor right after finding out the news and were giving options. I decided to go with the D and C route since waiting for it fully miscarriage naturally would of broke my heart even more.

On 11/30/18, I had the D&C procedure, Everything went good, well I am as good as it can with the situation. Honestly, the love and support that we had received from our family along with friends was amazing. We had told some of the people close to use about the the pregnancy after the first ultrasound. It was our plan to tell more people after the second ultrasound was taken place. There were some people that we had to share that we were pregnant, but had a miscarriage.

A week or so after everything happened, I decided to write about my experience on my blog to help me with process the emotions. There is nothing that prepared me for that amount of support that we received from the reader of my blog. Also, there were people that reached out to me to share their experience with me and what they did to help with grief.

I decided to how I wanted to honor Angel baby Scott was to make a shadowbox with mementos in it. It turned out beautifully and something we will treasure forever. I learned a lot about grief after that and to do my best to allow myself grace. There will always be unexpected triggers that take place even over a little over a year later. Those will not go away, but I do my best to embrace them since I want to keep Angel Baby Scott memory alive. I do wish things were different and that our baby was here with us today. Sometimes, God has a different plan for us even though I will never understand why. If you take anything away from my story, please allow yourself grace and share how your feeling with others.

On 9/16/19, we had a positive pregnancy test, which a little over 11 months since our last one. This was our last round of Clomid along with Estradiol before going to a fertility specialist. I guess 7th time was charm for us and I am currently 26 weeks pregnant. After having a miscarriage, the fear of something happening increases and I don't think it will disappear until I am holding our baby. The fear is not stopping me from enjoying every minute of this pregnancy.

Grief is a tough battle, but it's important to remember you are not alone. If you are struggling reach out to someone since it can be very lonely going through this.

----Mackenzie Scott

I am not sure why these pictures are sideways! Sorry