Being a mom and being stressed go together like salt paired with pepper. It’s inevitable.

Moms are more righteously stressed than dads when it comes to parenting duties, as revealed in a study by Captain Obvious — um, or a team of researchers at Cornell University. Due to “differing tasks,” mothers experience the most fatigue and stress, and a child is more likely to ask Mom than Dad for help. Mothers also had a higher lack of sleep for these reasons and lowered happiness levels as a result.

Mom of three? A recent survey of more than 7,000 mothers found three is the most stressful number of children to raise, and on a scale of one to ten, 8.5 was the average amount of stress for mothers. Seventy-five percent of mothers said they put the most pressure on themselves, rather than any judgment they received from others. Someone has to pick up the slack, and when there’s no one else, that leaves you. So, how do you stress less when you can’t say no? You change your life by saying “yes” more. You pick more of the positive and give yourself what you deserve.

Go on a Family Vacation

You keep saying all you need is more quality time together as a family. Then, life sneaks up on you and gives you something else to deal with as a “priority.” Drop it. You’re not saying “yes” to the right thing. Find a way to go on that family vacation you’ve been talking about for a year. Can you take a day trip, visit family or go camping? Camping offers a beautiful view of the night sky for an affordable price.

Maybe you need a trip farther from home to reorient yourselves. Let the wings of an airplane take you as far away as you can get with your loved ones. If your little one has a fear of flying, take the opportunity to teach them more about how planes work — planes are 200 times safer than riding around in a car. Remember how sirens first scared your child? They soon realized the loud noise was to let people know help was coming quickly. What looks scary and impossible on the outside isn’t once you get to know more about it. That lesson is important for parents to remember and kids to learn. Your life perspective will change as you watch your kids grow and experience new things. Family vacations are the stuff of lifetime memories. Go on a Vacation Without the Family

Need a day or weekend away? Take it. Say “yes” to your wild whim to go off on a mini-adventure. A day trip with friends or a weekend to yourself doesn’t mean the end of the world is happening — although your family may whine like it is. Of course, you’ll miss everyone and feel a little guilty, but you deserve time to gain new experiences and visit old haunts. Seeing how time passes opens your eyes, and your relationship with yourself and your family will deepen because of it. Pick a date in advance, help develop a game plan for your family and do your thing.

Invest More in Your Hobbies

How many times has someone in your life told you to get a hobby? You roll your eyes at the recommendation, but deep down, you know you should invest more in your hobbies. Name a hobby you left behind and always wanted to pick back up. What added more to your life? Having a hobby makes you happier, and it can make you more productive at your job, as well as increase your social network. You’ll carve out more time for yourself.

Hobbies pay off more than in one way. Your hobbies may make you side money to pay off debt or spend on your family or yourself. Ask yourself this beforehand: Will monetizing your hobby ruin the meaningful experience of self-expression and enjoyment?

Get That Coffee With a Friend

When was the last time you caught up with friends? Instead of playing catch-up, try living in the moment. Of course, your family comes first, but friendships are also reciprocal relationships. If you don’t nurture your friendships with some consistency, they wither and may die.

Get that coffee with a friend. Go ahead and vent. Let hilarious memories come up. Let your experiences affect one another. Talk about randomness and goof off. Bring adult coloring books or a game to play. The great thing about coffee is that there’s always room for more, and if you’re short on time, that’s OK, too. A cup of joe is a great friendship check-in. Make those a regular part of your life again. Saying “yes” to the right things invites more positivity into your life. Stop worrying about how to say “no” more while maintaining grace. Instead, fill your life with what matters.