Adoption and the new emotions it tends to throw my way through the years always seems to catch me by surprise. Our daughter, born in China, has been home for almost three years. I am constantly maneuvering new aspects of adoption questions and unexpected emotions.

This journey was something that I wasn't fully prepared for when we said "yes" to adoption. Then again, you can't ever fully be prepared for some things until you live it.

Before this week, most people had never heard of Wuhan, China. The city in Hubei Province that is Ground Zero for the coronavirus. The virus put Wuhan "on the map."

Long before the virus, Wuhan was already on our family's map. It's our daughter's birthplace. In fact, it's where we met Brielle for the very first time. She spent the first two years of her life in Wuhan.

This huge city of over 11 million people holds her past. A past that we don't know a whole lot about. People that we love, without a known name to us, live there. And that, made me cry this week. It's not what I would've expected along this journey of adoption.

I cried for Brielle's foster parents and birth family on the other side of the world because I want them to be protected and healthy. I want Brielle to be able to go back to Wuhan someday and search for all of these special people if she wants. I don't want the coronavirus to ruin any of that.

We don't know them, but we love them.

Wuhan is a monstrous city. I know it's not likely that any of the deaths from the coronavirus were people she loved. BUT there's always a lingering "what if they were?"

Not knowing may never get easier as Brielle grows with her own questions and unexpected emotions surrounding her adoption. Maybe it's a bond her and I will have through the years. All I know is that not knowing makes me cry but also increases my love for the people of Wuhan because every person could potentially belong to Brielle.

That means they belong to me too.

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