When a child goes away to university, there are many things for a parent to consider. Transition, academics, adapting to college life away from the structures and routines of the family home, food … you name it, there are times when these can become problematic!

Transition

It is often portrayed in life that the direction a student chooses, when they enter a college, is the direction that will lead them for the rest of their lives, and therefore the choice has to be perfect from day 1.

This is an unrealistic expectation for many students. Few people in life manage to choose a direction at the age of 18, and many people experience anxiety. Are they on the right course? Are they at the right school? Have they chosen the correct path for them? Remember, hopes and dreams are not set in stone.

As parents, it is your job to reassure students that these feelings are normal and that they should give themselves time to settle in. If, after a reasonable period of time, they still feel that the need to make a change, then, as a parent, you can support them in researching alternatives.

Letting them make their own mistakes

As parents, it is natural to want to ease the way for a child. However, children of any age need to be able to learn and grow from their own mistakes.

As a parent, if you feel that your child has made a mistake in their choice of school or course, or even in their choice of friends or relationships, try not to jump in too soon. They need to steer their own course. However, if they are doing something criminal which is likely to have long-term and serious repercussions then, as a parent, you have a moral responsibility to step in. Judge the situation carefully.

Academics

Work in a university is hard, and many students will experience their first low grades. This can have a huge impact on their confidence, especially if your student is not particularly resilient.

As a parent, you can reassure your student that there will be a transition period in which they will have to get used to the higher expectations of them. There might be less support available compared to in their previous school, and they might be expected to work more independently. Again, as a parent, you can help to prepare and support your student by sharing a listening ear and guiding them to appropriate people or study guides for help.

Lecturers, teachers, and professors

Some are really interesting and exciting. Some are plain old dull and boring. Some have good days, and some have bad days. Some are approachable and friendly, some are not. Some rehash the same material day in, day out.

Students are no longer children. As a parent, you can help them to realize that their professor is only one resource available to them in the pursuit of their qualifications and that they have a responsibility to themselves to read around a subject as widely as possible so that they can educate themselves.

As a parent, watching a child go off to a university can be challenging. However, the more you know about helping your child, the easier that transition for them will be. Sometimes it’ just a case of learning to let go a little. In other cases, you’ll need to be able to signpost them in the right direction for help. Often, it’s just a case of lending an ear so that they feel confident in sharing their thoughts and concerns.