Real challenges can arise between husband and wife when one of them seems to be spending too much money on “unnecessary things” I emphasized the words because what one spouse considers as unnecessary the other might consider a necessity. However, this issue is something that can be worked out together if you follow Stella Painfree relationship expert advice below.

Advice No: 1 – Recognize that when it comes to the topic of finance, you are supposed to be on the same team.

In general, people don’t like being told how or where to spend money, not even by their spouse. Most people would feel like their spouse was trying to control them or doesn’t trust or respect them by trying to tell them how and where to spend money.

The best thing to do is to agree that both of you want what is best for each other financially, and that you are both working together towards the goal of financial freedom and financial security. When this is established it becomes easier to come up with solutions to disagreements about money because you are working with each other and not against each other.

You might then as a couple decide to put some extra money aside and have a budget to fund those purchases that might cause arguments instead of just spending as needed. Because you have created a budget for those things they no longer become an issue – unless of course you start dipping into money meant for other things to fund those purchases, which defeats the whole purpose anyway.

Advice No: 2 – Try and identify the reason why your spouse may be spending so much

There is nothing wrong with the occasional treat. We all work very hard to earn our living most of which goes on bills. From time to time it is good to give yourself a treat and buy yourself something nice. There is nothing wrong with such occasional treats but when it becomes an uncontrollable or compulsive behavior then there might be a deeper issue.

Some people overspend as a result of trying to cover up some of their insecurities; they overspend and buy things they really can’t afford just to make themselves look good, they spend unnecessary money trying to meets needs that material things cannot satisfy. Buying more and more things is not the way to deal with insecurities.

There are many reasons why people overspend, it can be as a result of a deprived childhood so now you end up wanting to buy all the things you couldn’t have as a child. It can also be as a result of depression – this is very common, for example you’re not feeling so good, or maybe you’ve had a bad day or week so you decide to go for some “retail therapy” with money that was set aside for something more important.

Anxiety is another reason, even a privileged childhood could lead to overspending, for example if you always got what you wanted because your parents could afford it and now it has become a habit – a habit that your spouse might not be happy to fund.

People that overspend tend to have thoughts like “if I buy this outfit then I’ll be in style” or “people will respect me more if I’m seen driving this kind of car” “I’ll be more accepted” – please realize that materials things will not fulfil you. Only God can fulfil you. The novelty of material things soon fade but the fulfilment found in God is eternal.

Before making a purchase, husbands and wives should be honest about their motive for wanting to make the purchase. If the answer is to cover some kind of insecurity then don’t buy it.