While there is some uncertainty regarding the ways that families deal with trauma and injury, family members can have varied responses to hearing that a parent has been severely hurt. Whether the injury is a broken pelvis due to a vehicle collision or a back injury caused by incorrect lifting, children can be significantly impacted emotionally out of concern or worry for their parent.

Any deviation in a normal routine can cause grief to a child. It is normal for them to feel worried or upset for their parent, but kids can have a harder time accepting difficult situations and they may require additional reassurance and time to get used to the idea.

It is imperative to try and offer your child help when they are having difficulty coping, as persistent worry can increase the risk of traumatic stress for the child.

Include Your Child in the Discussion

Children should be informed of their parent’s injury as soon as possible. Kids are perceptive and can usually pick up on things when something bad has happened. However, it is also better to discuss tough topics when the family has some down time and doesn’t have to be anywhere, like work or school. Your child may not be ready to talk right away, but making yourself available for them could provide some comfort.

Don’t tell your child if you are distressed; instead, calm yourself down so that the kids do not become apprehensive only after seeing that you are hysterical. Ensure that your child will have your undivided attention while you are explaining the news, and allow for time to answer any questions that your child may have.

“Your child may have varied questions over time regarding the severe injury of a parent. Various treatment phases could cause your child to have new questions regarding the parent’s care and condition, as a personal injury can be tragic.”

Laurence B. Green, attorney and co-founder of Berger and Green.

Be Clear and Honest

The age of your child will determine how much you should share with them about the severity of the injury. While explaining the news, pay attention to how your child reacts. Be prepared to stop sharing if they become overwhelmed; young children especially have limited attention spans for complicated subjects.

Inform your child how the parent is being cared for, and try to keep it positive. Let your child know how their day-to-day lives could be impacted; for instance, if the parent will need to use a wheelchair they may not be able to play hide-n-seek as well, but the child can expect to have other games substituted.

Convey Feelings

If a child can explain how they are feeling, it can help both of you understand how to help them. Emotions can be conveyed through drawing, describing events in a story, or through conversation. Children can feel several things simultaneously, and it may be difficult for them to understand how they should act if they don’t even understand how they are feeling. Let them know it's okay to feel sad or angry and tell them if that's how you are feeling also.

Ask for Help

Your child will likely be interested in facilitating your care, and it can make them feel like they are making a difference. If they are old enough to bring you water to ensure that you stay hydrated or to perform other small acts of care, take them up on their offer. Don’t forget to thank them with snuggles or encouragement.

Try to Encourage a Sense of Normality

Regular routines can help home life feel somewhat normal. If your family has a regular movie night, try not to skip it. Library story time may need to be resituated to the home. Extended family members may be needed to spend more time around helping with mealtime and house upkeep to make the transition slightly more seamless.

You may need to let your child's teacher know about the changing situation in case they notice any atypical behaviors from your child. Helping your child to feel included in the healing process may give them comfort and help them to cope.