One of the biggest challenges of moving when you have kids is helping them deal with being taken away from their friends. And like many parenting-related issues, helping your kids make friends in a new city is a challenge that takes different layers of complexity depending on your child’s personality and age group. That was my experience the first time I moved with my kids — they were 9 and 12 at the time, and helping them adapt took both creativity and hard work.

That said, while the idea that your kids might not be able to make friends in the new city is quite scary, children are naturally sociable. And more often than not, all it takes for them to make some new friends is a bit of nudging and a bit of patience. Here’s what I learned from helping my own kids adapt.

Help them stay active

The biggest hurdle these days is just getting children out of the house. That’s why it’s so good to move close to the start of the school year — it ensures that your kids won’t spend too long moping around the house before school has them busy doing new things and meeting new people. But school isn’t the only way to help your kids stay engaged and social.

Classes, clubs, and activities are great ways to encourage them to get out of their shells. If your kids were already enrolled in some type of group activity in the old town, enabling them to continue the activity in the new city — whether it be dancing lessons or joining a book club — can both help them make new friends and make the transition to a new town less traumatic.

If they weren’t, this is a great time to encourage them to try new hobbies. It’s just important to give them options and let them pick something, rather than forcing an activity on them, especially if they are still distressed over the move.

Connect with neighbors

It can be hard to get to know your neighbors, depending on the type of neighborhood you’ve just moved into. But if you can meet them and have neighbors who have kids in the same age group as yours, that can be a great opportunity to help your children socialize.

Be on the lookout for local parent groups, get friendly with other members of the local homeowners association, or see if by chance there is a local park, club, or church that families in your area visit regularly. These are good ways to not only help your kids meet more people but also get yourself some new acquaintances as well.

Take it slow

It’s important to encourage your kids not to stress them out or worsen their current stress. It’s fine if it takes a few weeks for the little ones to make new friends, or if they would rather stay home and text their old friends than go out for a while. Give them time to process; moving is a big change.

Giving them breathing room will also provide you with time to adapt to the new home. Moving is stressful and exhausting, from furnace repair and maintenance to installing new utilities and settling into a new job. And you will have an easier time focusing on helping your kids adapt once you have handled those initial challenges.

Also, don’t be afraid, to be honest with your kids. The best approach will, of course, depend on their personality and on how they feel about the move, but my eldest daughter got a lot more social once I told her I was hoping she’d make new friends at school.