Changing schools is a prospect that always gets an emotional response from kids. Sometimes parents get lucky, and that reaction is one of excitement as kids look forward to exploring a new school and making new friends. Often, however, things aren’t quite so easy. It is also common for kids to feel frustrated about the change, mourn the friends they’ll leave behind, and be scared of what might happen in the new school.

It's easy to see why a school change would be scary for a child. It’s scary for us parents too, after all. And while children may not be able to express those fears properly, they are often as worried as we are over whether or not they’ll adapt to the new school and what conflicts may arise after the change.

I’ve dealt with those emotions a lot, both as a child who changed schools often and as a parent who helped my kids through the same process. And I want to share some of the things you can do to make this transition easier for your kids.

Break the news early

Don’t give in to the temptation to keep your kids in the dark about the upcoming change. It isn’t worth it. What you gain by allowing them to stay ignorant longer, you lose by giving them less time to get used to the idea of changing schools.

Telling them early also gives them a chance to discuss the notion with their friends and let them know things are going to change, which can be a huge part of the coping process.

Manage your enthusiasm

If you just got a new job and secured a spot in one of the best private schools in the country for your child, it’s easy to sound a little too excited when telling them the news or to discuss the move. Positivity is good, you don’t want it to sound like their world is ending, but it’s important to remember that your kid may be feeling very differently about the change. And a mismatch between your enthusiasm and their frustration can lead to conflict and resentment.

The best way to avoid this is to address the elephant in the room. Make it clear that you know this change isn’t all sunshine and rainbows for them, and do what you can to help them deal with the downsides of changing schools.

Deal with the downsides

The main downsides of changing schools are that a) your kids will lose their familiar environment and b) your kids will have to adapt to a new environment. And you can help mitigate both issues in a variety of ways.

For most children, their main source of attachment to school is their friends and favorite teachers. And you can help the change of schools hurt less by encouraging them to stay in touch with their friends after moving through online means and — if possible — in-person visits and playdates after the move.

As for ways to help children adapt, one trick I use is to get them familiar with the new school. As this link shows, many schools have a website these days, and even when they don’t, you can still find pictures and information about the school online. Giving your kids a tour of the new school, whether it be online or in-person, can be a great way to make the change feel less scary.

Taking your kid to the new school and letting them meet teachers and the principal and see some of the school’s routine can be a great way to make the prospect of change less scary. This is especially the case if your kid has spent their whole lives in the previous school.

Be patient

After your child starts in the new school, it’s important to be patient and — within reason — let them try to deal with issues on their own at first. It’ll take a few weeks for them to settle into their new environment fully, and if they see you panicking over little issues, it may encourage them to do the same. It’s best to stay calm and supportive.