The story of how my husband and I met is a cute one, so I’ll give you the gist. When I was younger, my mom and I used to have regular mother-daughter mall trips. During each shopping excursion, we would grab a bite to eat at the same restaurant where the food was delicious and we were served by a very handsome guy.

Our server, who would later become my husband, would always have our drinks ready for us at our table before we sat down. He served with a smile, cracked jokes, and yes—flirted with me as much as my mom would let him get away with.

Eventually, I returned to that restaurant over Christmas break from college and got a hostess job there for a few months. My husband tells me that the day he saw me on my first day of work there, he told the restaurant manager, “I am going to marry her.” And he did. (Swoon)

If you ask my husband what he first noticed about me back in 2006, I’m going to assume he’d say something superficial. My hair or my eyes or my legs—something he was attracted to right away, before getting to know me. And now—2018 me—well, sometimes I wonder what he notices now.

I don’t typically hang out in short skirts anymore (more like yoga pants and...yoga pants), And, to be honest, sometimes I just feel like my post-three-baby body isn’t all that attractive anymore. My hair isn’t as long or as blonde or as playful as it was. My boobs aren’t the same, my skin isn’t the same—not much is ‘the same.’

But, guess what? All of a sudden, today, I had an epiphany.

I am hotter right now, at this point in my life, than any time before.

When I was young I could be selfish, self-involved and immature. Now I have grown into a more selfless, compassionate and mature adult, woman, and mother.

I believe I am a great wife, a loving mom, a caring daughter and sister-in-law, a supportive sibling and a fun friend. There is so much about the me now, that I think makes me more beautiful, attractive and intriguing than my younger outer beauty ever did.

Sometimes I give myself such a hard time for not looking the same as I did in my twenties, I think, because if I’m honest with myself, it was nice to feel ‘hot’. But I have to remind myself—my hotness today means more than hair ‘do’s and manicures. It’s more like thoughtfulness and compassion. Hard work and deep love.

Did you realize, mama—that you are still super hot? Because you are. You’re the hottest you’ve ever been.

Recognize that, believe it and remind yourself of it often.

And, on days that you find it hard to see past your self-perceived flaws in the mirror, let me be your mirror and remind you of this.

Your perpetual kindness towards your children and family makes you hot.

Your raw genuineness towards all people that you encounter makes you hot.

Your constant generosity, with your money and/or your time, makes you hot.

Your unwavering drive to succeed in business and/or in parenthood makes you hot.

Your deep passion for raising confident yet humble, amazing humans makes you hot.

Your intelligence and curiosity and passion for learning makes you hot.

Your positive attitude and optimism regarding the world around you makes you hot.

Your endearing forgetfulness based on pure exhaustion from you giving your all, day in and day out, well, that makes you hot, too.

And that’s not all.

Your uncanny ability to find the silver lining hidden beneath everything, including tired eyes and sometimes greasy hair.

You look hot with your messy bun, your spilled-on shirt and your half-painted toe nails.

You look hot carrying your newborn around the house, multitasking like a pro.

You’re amazing because you pour your heart and soul into motherhood, you’re beautiful because you are strong and sensitive, powerful and brave.

You are hot because you know who you are and you own that. There’s really nothing hotter than that, mama.

This article originally appeared on jthreeNMe and was later syndicating by Motherly.