His kicks, rolls, the hiccups. The heartburn, seollen feet and the baby bump pics. I find myself mourning the loss of my 3rd trimester. They said I had to name him st hospital for birth certificate. I was supposed to still have 14 more weeks to pick out a name! I had a baby I couldn't hold for 10 days after birth. All I could do was hold his tiny little fingers. I couldn't console him by snuggles or breast feeding when he cried...that little squeak. I have to pump my breasts every 3 hours...until they literally had blisters and were bleeding. How will I bond with my baby if I can't hold and breast feed?? He is a month old now...yet 10 more weeks until my due date. Spending hours in the hospital, sitting. Listening to him 'bubble' (this is the cpap), looking for a squirm, panicking when the monitor beeps. This is exhausting. I went back to work so I could have my maternity time when he comes home. I have a teenager and toddler at home that miss me. This is the life of a NICU Mom.