Kids. Work. Kids. Work. For the last four years, this was my life.

Maybe you, too, have lived it. It’s F-ing brutal.

Sleep, exercise, marriage, dreams - none of it feels within reach. There is no time, no energy left.

So, over the last 8 months, I did something bold:

I walked away from academia...and three job offers.

$0

It’s the amount I currently contribute each month to our bank account. I am now a stay-at-home mother who writes for free.

If I’m honest, I don’t think about it much...until someone asks me what I’m going to do next.

You know, like I’ve failed to launch.

But our transition to a one-income household has been more than significant:

It’s the only way we’ve been able to find balance with two small children.

I, of course, can’t - nor would I want to - communicate this to strangers and acquaintances.

So, I smile and mention a book dream and all ends well.

But days like today - when I get to spend my waking hours adventuring with the kids while my husband does science - make it clear:

There is no true equality in marriage.

We didn’t change the exact same number of diapers.

We can’t divide household tasks 50/50 because duties and needs adjust.

We won’t contribute the same dollar amount each month.

But we’re more stable than we’ve ever been.

It may take four walls to build a house, but we have our eyes on the foundation.

And we trust that, if reconstructed correctly, our love will do more than hold up the roof.

It will also take out the trash, supervise homework, and cheer wildly from the stands.

And it won’t matter who takes the lead.

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