I went to sit with Delaney today.

I wanted to comfort her and apologize to her that I couldn’t manage to bring her into this world.

To tell her sorry that she didn’t get to meet her brother and sister and be loved on by her family.

It was my first time going since she got buried and her nameplate got placed. So, I stopped off to get something to take....an arrangement of some kind.

But I stood there in the aisle not knowing what to get.

It was Christmas time and there were so many cute little Christmas arrangements. But I paused and pondered what to get.

I didn't know her favorite color and it hit me that I never would. I would never know anything about her. Tears welled up in my eyes and again I was hit with the realization of how much this sucked and how abnormal the whole situation was.

It isn't right.

And my mission seemed pointless.

I didn’t know what to get, I didn't know what was appropriate for an unborn baby that shares a grave with others that never were a part of this world.

There is no protocol for this.

I suddenly felt like it didn't even matter what I took, what mattered is that she wasn't going to ever be here.

I didn't know it was possible to feel so sad and mad at the same time.

So, I went to sit with her and let her know I was there and I cared, that I would never ever forget that she is a part of our family, and I was so sorry that I couldn't hold her.

But then something happened and I felt her comfort me.

She replaced my sorrow with her truth.

She reminded me that she was living in the best place there is. That she gets to see Jesus. That she has no pain or sadness. That she got to skip all the earthly pain.

She reminded me that we all will be together one day. That she will show me around all the best parts of Heaven.

She reminded me that she was a little missionary!

And it only took 15 weeks for her to fulfill her purpose on earth.

That even though she was never born that her life still mattered and it made a huge impact.

Her sweet soul is what has made me and her dad reconcile and get married again.

She did that!

She did have a purpose and she didn't even have to be physically here to do it.