If you haven’t heard from your friend with small kids lately, don’t take it personally.

It’s not that we don’t want to be friends anymore, it’s that we are so utterly exhausted by the end of the day we have nothing left to give to anyone.

Personally, I thought this whole stay-at-home-mom-thing was going to be a lot different than it is. That it would be more fun, less restrictive, and not as lonely were just a few of my misconceptions. But toss in a global pandemic and the isolation of being a mom with young kids triples.

We miss socialization. And the real world. And finding connections outside of our children. We miss dinner parties, dates with our husbands, and conversations with people other than a pediatrician. We miss effortless friendship.

This phase of life is different. It brings out the best and worst of us. It’s slow moving, yet fleeting. It’s suffocating at times and yet somehow refreshing. It’s weird and I don’t have the right words to describe the range of emotions I deal with each day. (Does anyone, though?)

This is just a bump in the road of life, albeit glorified by a pandemic, and one day we won’t have houses littered with diapers, hot wheels, and baby rattles. I hope we can connect then, when the nights aren’t as long and the days aren’t as loud and poop-filled.

Please accept this as a peace offering and an apology and know I’m still cheering for you even though we haven’t seen each other in months.

I guess the best part of all of this is that the next time I do get to see you, I’ll have some extra little friends for you in tow.