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I'm a mom who doesn't love summer vacation

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Confession: I’m a mom who doesn’t love summer vacation.

Yes, I appreciate the more relaxed flow of our days, and not having to drag sleeping bodies out of bed to get ready for school. I enjoy an ice cream cone on a hot summer day, or sitting on my porch and taking in a beautiful sunset.

But in this season of parenting, summer doesn’t feel like much of a vacation at all.

Without the routine of school, and time spent apart, my boys get cranky. They get restless. They get bored. They fight like cats and dogs. And I have to say, it’s not just them.

I get cranky and bored and restless, too.

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Some days I find myself staring at the calendar, willing for September to magically appear so we can get back into a routine.

Some days I am counting down the hours until bedtime when I can finally sink into the couch after a long and exhausting day.

Some days I wish for a time machine— to catapult me into a future that isn’t riddled with my current set of parenting challenges.

Some days it feels as though survival is the number one goal.

But then a moment will come along that feels like a jolt to my weary spirit.

Lying next to my 7-year-old as he reads aloud before bedtime. Hearing the sweet sound of his voice and counting the freckles that are scattered across his face. Knowing he will never be this young again.

My 4-year-old bringing a ripe tomato from our garden he picked “just for me” along with a flower he spotted along the way.

Watching my husband give the boys a rock-skipping lesson along the quiet shore of a beautiful mountain lake.

Hearing my boys laugh together as they race their Lego car creations across our driveway.

Snuggling together on the couch, a boy on each side, their little bodies still able to fit within the crook of my arm.

In those moments, I don’t want to wish time away anymore. I want it to stand still.

I know I won’t enjoy every moment of motherhood. And I don't think I have to. But I do want to stop and appreciate the simple moments that will no doubt become treasured memories when I think back on these summers at home with my boys.

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