Dear God is it cold out. But you know what's not cold? My heart. Because I get to spend the day trapped inside my freaking house with my freaking four children. And oh look, four of their freaking friends.

Of course my hubs is nowhere to be found. Turns out he has to go in early and stay late on today of all days. All of the sudden he's Tom freaking Skilling.

He must be so lonely out there. In his office all by himself. Nothing but the quiet to keep him warm. Bless his heart.

I just, ever so politely, asked all of the offsprings to get their little smart-mouthed behinds to the basement for the remaining daylight hours. If they oblige, I will reward them with pizza. I feel bad making the pizza delivery guy come out in this weather. But not as bad as I would feel if I woke up in jail with a DUI for driving around with eight kids and a killer buzz.

Although sometimes I think ending up in prison would be awesome. Eating my meals alone. Using the toilet alone. Sleeping in a bed alone. Taking care of me and only me. Makes me want to down a bottle of mouthwash and get right in my minivan and rear-end a police car.

I might miss my kids. Sometimes I miss them when they're sleeping. But I'm confident I would get over it.

Oh how the grass is always greener. A mom can dream.

The Listerine I keep in the medicine cabinet is strictly for lice and late night emergencies. Like when I have the DTs and can't sleep. A swig or two of that and I'm good to go. It kills louse just as fast as it kills my feeling. Singular.