I’m not doing marriage right.

I’m petty, a pest, and quick to react. I’m boring, a bit selfish, and put my husband second. Not behind me, because I’m not that vain, but behind my children and their needs, that’s for sure.

I don’t always greet him in the morning with a smile or kiss, but then again who wants to talk before coffee and be affectionate before teeth have been brushed — surely not him.

I guess for me, it comes so easy to get caught up in the day-to-day rat race of keeping up with the Joneses (and by that, I mean my house, my children, and the standards set by the general public) that I forget just keeping up at all is simply enough, and actually necessary for the continued success of my marriage.

Thank goodness I am realizing this now.

So no, I have not been doing marriage right. But, then again, why would I?

To be honest, I haven’t done anything in my life exactly right and look how that has worked out for me.

Really damn well.

Sometimes I worry that all of my mistakes — parenting, marital, business-related — make me a less than stellar mom, wife, entrepreneur, and overall person.

But hear this, and maybe get yourself on board with this as well:

While there are numerous famous quotes that in essence state “your mistakes don’t define you,” I am going to respectfully disagree and contend that they surely do, and that YOU CAN BE PROUD OF THAT.

If I didn’t make all the numerous mistakes that I make each and every day I would never learn. I would never change. I would never grow. I would never become aware of the many facets of my personality that I didn’t even realize were there. My husband would never see these things in me either – these changes – and how boring would that be.

I am going to contend that OUR MISTAKES DO DEFINE US and I am going to encourage you to be proud of your mistakes; to own the crap out of them and honor them because your mistakes, each and every one of them, have contributed to the amazing, unique, awesome person that you are today.

And no, I cannot explain how leaving my power-sliding car door open each day defines me, so don’t ask — but I’m sure it does in some way!