Do you have a friend who has been really loud in 2020?

What about one who has been really quiet this year?

Do you have a friend who wishes you would

speak up,

reach out,

or hang more?

What about one you haven’t heard from or seen in many months?

Do you have a friend who feels the same as you about a lot of things?

What about one you’ve kinda lost because of one or many differences in opinion?

Some of us thrive under pressure.

But some of us cave and burrow when we’re faced with it.

Some of us can take the weight.

But, for some of us, it weighs us down.

Some of us fall and get right back up.

But some of us collapse and linger in our pain.

Some of us make jokes to stay light.

But some of us think that making light out of anything heavy is downright inconsiderate.

Do you have a friend who has been really loud in 2020?

What about one who has practically gone radio silent?

Each has their reasons, just as you do.

Navigating

a pandemic,

social distancing,

mask-wearing,

distance learning,

job insecurity,

political and racial unrest,

and what to do about

upcoming family gatherings,

holidays,

and visits with immunocompromised or elderly parents or grandparents,

it’s a lot.

And do you know what sometimes feels like it just adds to that lot,

friendships — specifically those that require work or demand you owe an explanation for anything.

I’m gonna vote how I want,

wear or not wear my mask when I want,

let my kids see who I want,

keep them from attending what I want,

speak up when I want,

hermit up when I need,

and I’m only in the market for friendships that support my right to be independent from them.

And I hope that my friends will always

vote how they want,

wear or not wear their mask when they want,

let their kids see who they want,

attend (or not) what what they want,

speak up when they want,

hermit up when they need,

and know that I wholly support their right to be independent from me.

Not a single part of friendship is about control.

There should be none of that going on.

Don’t try to persuade your friends either.

They aren’t in your life to be more like you. They are in your life to be them and to serve the purpose on your path they are intended to.

Same goes for you with them.

Stop fighting with each other by remembering what you love about each other and lean in to that.

We’ve got a pretty short time here on this Earth.

It ain’t guaranteed either,

and I can’t see a damn reason why we should waste any of it fighting fights that have no winner.

If a friendship fails naturally and on it’s own,

so be it,

but don’t you dare let yourself be the reason it does.

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