It comes out of NO WHERE...

I’m sitting here calming myself, watching Logan smiling and happy in the “bubbles”.
Back to his happy self after one
of the worst melt downs in a while.

it’s like a tornado.
A huge hurricane that tears up your house and before you realize what happened ....it’s over...totally OVER.

God I wish so badly that I could
Understand why?
God I wish so badly this didn’t have to happen.

It’s scary, it’s stressful..it’s like for 5 minutes there’s a hurricane in your house and there’s nothing you can do to stop it..just be calm, ignore it and hope it stops soon.

You see things being broken and years ago would have reacted, even got angry over, but now...you feel nothing. Material things don’t matter in the midst of this. That’s the least of my worries...

No human being WANTS to do this. I can’t imagine what he’s going through or how badly must he be hurting in these moments, that this is the only way to cope?

I’m a mom and all I want to do is make it better, make him better, get to the bottom of the problem.

He’s normally such a happy, funny, amazing, smart loving guy...it scares me to even let people know this side exists because I never want ANYONE to judge him or treat him badly!
He can’t help it! He truly can’t!

I want to fix this. Who will have the patience as he gets older? When I’m gone?
It scares me to my core that he would be physically restrained...when that is the last thing he needs.

I don’t want to show this side but this is real. This happens and it happens to many kids. It doesn’t happen often and isn’t at ALL who he is. He has off days like everyone else, but isn’t able to cope like most. It comes out in other ways and that’s not bad, it’s just different.
It’s just not a way that I’m used to.

But unlike most, as soon as it’s over it’s over. He holds no grudges or bad feelings about anyone.

I don’t ever want him to be mistreated. EVER.

He feels so badly after it happens and apologizes while sobbing.

Tonight I thought we would have the police at the door.

Life would be perfect with out these blow up melt downs.
But even typical parents deal with bad days, especially at this age...if Its not one thing, it’s another....right?

#autisminsocal #meltdown #autism #parenting