You may think your sleep-deprived self can’t compare with the cool stuff your little one can do on your phone. But even with dark circles and no makeup, your face makes your baby bloom.

Take, for example, the magic conjured when you both play with a humble plastic ball. When you say “ball” and place it in your baby’s grasp, their little fingers feel that it’s round and their mind pairs the word with the shape. When the ball slips out of their hands, they discover gravity, just like Newton!

The whole time you play, they study your reactions and touch your lips for how you form your words. That's how they understand language.

None of that happens when they watch a ball on a screen.

The word to know is “Attachment.” When baby and loving caregiver gaze at each other, touch, and warmly interact, babies learn to “read” faces—a skill they need to survive. Babies who securely attach tend to grow up confident and emotionally stable. But those who struggle to attach can become anxious, insecure, and agitated.

Behavioral researchers worry that as parents attach more to their phones, they forget their kids need loving interaction and eye contact to learn to speak, reason, and manage in the real world.

A shiny device certainly will grab and hold a child’s attention, but brain scientists say the flashy scenes and sounds can ultimately make a pre-verbal child a nxious and unhappy.

Too much screen time can even cause the scary new condition called “Virtual Autism.” It happens when babies and toddlers spend hours on phones, tablets, and other screen-based media. The kids develop autistic-type symptoms such as avoiding eye contact and not responding to their names. The good news is that the symptoms quickly disappear when kids return to playing with palpable toys and outside with other kids, interacting with loving caregivers, and totally avoiding screens.

So kids get all the time they need to explore the 3-dimensional world, the American Academy of Pediatricians recommends little ones shouldn’t be on or around screens at all the first two years of life (except for the occasional FaceTime with Grandma).

For preschool kids, the AAP says screen time should not exceed more than one hour a day “to allow children ample time to engage in other activities important to their health and development.”

Other ways to keep your child on a healthy developmental track:

• Look at and talk to your child whenever you’re together
• Provide play things that require manipulation such as a ball and, for older kids, play dough
• Go outside each day for walks and so your child can play with other children
• Don’t hand your phone to your baby or young child (and lock the screen, just in case)
• Turn TVs off around kids under age 4, even if they don’t seem to be paying attention
• Wait until at least age 6 before giving a child access to a tablet, and only one that has been set up with parental controls (as you can do on the A mazon Fire Kids Edition)
• Explain to family members and care givers why these tech hygiene habits are important

Now that we’re full on into the digital age, the early years have emerged as a rarified, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. As I write in The Durable Human Manifesto: Practical Wisdom for Living and Parenting in the Digital World:

“Early childhood is the only time in life when a person is completely free to discover his or her native “gifts.” I’m not saying that gifts of tablets and apps are not amazing, but their time will come. In the meantime, when babies and toddlers use all of their senses to range freely and play with whatever they choose, they are making rich, lifelong neural connections.”

Soon enough your little one will spend plenty of time on devices. Until then, have fun helping them know their own operating systems first.

Also read from Today Parenting Team: The Five Secrets for Raising a Balanced, Durable Kid

Download your free Family Priorities Checklist