As I write this I’m rocking our newborn son to sleep while he puts abc down. Keeping your marriage alive after having a baby isn’t always the easiest but this is our second time doing it. We aren’t pros but we are still very happily married.

Once baby comes paying attention to your marriage can be hard. Balancing recovery, baby, other children, work and redefining yourself is a full time job and then adding your marriage? Yeah, it can be overwhelming but I have some tips and tricks to help in keeping your marriage alive after having a baby.

Tips & Tricks To Keeping Your Marriage Alive After Having A Baby

1. Remember that your spouse still needs you.

This seems really obvious, right? But it isn’t. I’ve heard so many men talk about how after women have given birth they no longer exist to them. I’m going to be captain obvious here again, but, without them, there would be no baby! Remember that and remember them.

2. Put your spouse first.

This is super hard. You just created this little person who is incredibly cute and smells amazing and all you want to do is snuggle them. The only person you want to pay attention to is the one that you made. As hard as this is, here is your reminder: Put your spouse first. Well, after God or whatever higher power you believe in. Seriously. In a marriage where your spouse is your priority they are more fulfilled and together you can make children a priority. Trust me, parenting is a team sport. You want to be on the same page tackling things in unison.

3. Have sex. Lots of it.

Ohhhhhhhhhh!!! She said S-E-X!!! Yep, I did. Give up the goodies. Have a great time. Remember what it feels like to be your spouse’s lover. It’s amazing. If you’re a co-sleeping, crunchy mom like myself, this can be hard but it’s not impossible. Get creative but love on each other. It’s healthy.

4. Over communicate.

Seriously. Talk. A lot. Every month I have some pretty standard questions for my husband. I ask him how I’m doing as his wife, what I could be doing differently, and if there’s anything I could do to make being my husband easier. Normally he has no feedback because I’m just that awesome but I like to keep that door open just in case there is something that he does need to share.

5. Take care of yourself.

You should really be taking care of yourself for you but let’s be honest, being with someone who take care of themselves is way more fun than being with someone who doesn’t. It sounds shallow but it isn’t. It’s reality. I’m not saying that you need to be dressed up donning a face full of make up and 5-in stiletto’s everyday but I am saying that you should do the things that make you feel good about yourself. I love to do facials and my nails. It makes me feel like I’ve treated myself and I’m worth it. But it also just makes me feel better about myself and when I feel good, I want everyone else around me feeling good too–especially my husband.

Having a baby is wonderful. They are cute and amazing and it’s so cool that they came from your body! And they’re a lot of work. But don’t let that work take away from the very thing that they were created with–the love of your spouse.

What ways do you keep your marriage alive?