I don’t have a father. I mean sure I have a biological father but I was not raised by him nor do I know him. So, I have spent my lifetime witnessing, observing, judging and learning from many other fathers. I get to witness my own husband as a thoughtful and loving father. I have listened to friends, clients and loved ones talk about the complex relationship between a child and father. So from my vantage point, the fatherless daughter, here is what I have learned that good fathers do best…

1. They make his little girl, no matter her age, know that she is special. They make her feel smart, important, beautiful, understood and fearless.
2. They make his boy, no matter his age, know that he is supported. They make him feel competent, independent, able and loved.
3. A good father seems to know when to talk and when to listen. He knows the value in silence and letting his children figure it out on their own.
4. A good father seems to know when to joke and make light of something and when to be serious and focused.
5. A good father seems to share his wisdom when the moment is right. They are humble and never cease to amaze their children with their experiences.
6. A good father seems to know when to give a wink, a squeeze of an arm or a big hug. They are attuned to what their kid needs in the moment.
7. A good father knows that can be bigger, stronger and louder than anyone in the room yet knows he doesn’t have use that as a means to gain influence or respect.
8. And last, the best of the fathers that I have known know to give their kids, especially their boys, the right to cry, have emotions and be held.

Bravo and Happy Father’s day to all the amazing dads out there- you make a difference in the world.