I have always been a mom who works hard to take in the good moments.

Like when my babies were young, I definitely rocked them a little longer and held them a little tighter. I did the things that made me pause, and take in the time I had with them. As they have gotten older, I have tried to be there for as many things as possible with sports, school, and everything in between. And at home, I make time for things like family dinners, card games and movie nights.

I am not perfect, but I try my best to be present for my kids.

Yet as hard as I try with the good times, it’s the bad ones that always seem to get me. Some moments are simple and quick, like the time I was rushing and not paying enough attention, and I cut a small snip of my young daughter’s finger off with the nail clippers. She screamed, I screamed and those unfortunate minutes have stuck with me like glue.

Then there are the bigger ones, the days where I am worn out and run down, and my emotions are close to explosion. And of course, my small, still-learning children enter the scene. I have screamed louder, criticized harsher and even completely ignored the little humans I love more than anything. Those days, the days where I lose it or I do something to truly make them sad, are the hardest to get over.

These moments have tendency to linger and haunt me. They are times when I tell myself that I am bad mom, and sometimes even, a horrible human. The negative talk turns up, and I slip myself into a place that no woman should go.

However, I do understand that my children have an extremely loving and supportive home. I often go out of my way to make sure they know how much they are appreciated and loved.

Every holiday and birthday has family celebrations along with hand-selected gifts. Their world is big and open with different types of trips to beaches, parks, and local attractions. And honestly, there is ice cream after dinner way more often than I ever had as a kid. They get hugs and cuddles, and if they even breath wrong, and I am there to make sure they are ok.

I even teach about the big things like chores, responsibility, and the importance of being kind and respectful to everyone. They also know that their bodies are theirs, and they are to treat anyone who offends that appropriately. And, I never hesitate to remind them of their worth.

So, you may want to ask why I let those bad days bother me so much…and well, it is because I am human.

I am like every mom in the world who does everything for everyone she can, and then questions her mistakes. I spend way too much time on the bad, when the good far outweighs those times when I lose my cool or slip with the nail clippers.

Yet as I beat myself up, deep down I know my ability to apologize and move on from these situations is not only good for me, but a lesson well learned for my kids. I cannot let my mistakes define me, and neither should they.

Therefore, this year, I am going to try a little harder to break through the bad days. I do not want to pretend they do not exist, but instead try to learn from them.

This little experiment will be trial by fire. There is no way to know how I will handle another bad day until it ultimately comes to get me. Because no one really plans for those, or ever wants one – yet I know they will always come.

So, when the hard days arrive, I want to do my best to breathe through it – and then leave them in the past…right exactly where they belong.