Once you become a parent, it’s hard to remember that you have needs too. So often we are consumed by our jobs, housekeeping, shuttling our kids around to their events, and making sure that homework is done, we forget to make time for us.

Moms and dads are both guilty of this. We think that if we take the time or money to spend on ourselves, we aren’t paying attention to our kids. They should always be our focus. After all, that’s why we had them, right?

What we forget is our identity is equally as important. Recharging our circuits and doing things we enjoy is equally as important.

It takes some planning, but I’m always sure to make time for me. Oh, guilt plagues me and it creeps inside and threatens to destroy me. But I do it anyway.

I’m not very good with phone calls, but I text my friends and I set up some dates. (Yes, I have it in my calendar to begin dialogue to make this happen!) I have coffee date once in a while. A four-hour coffee date. (That tells you that you needed a break.) A friend and I make a date for sushi once a month. Once every few months my hockey “sisters” and I meet for drinks or dinner. I do the same with my karate “sisters.” My best friend does my nails every few weeks. And if I’m really lucky I attend my sister’s yoga class.

No one at home rebuffs me these special treats. They are equally as happy that I do them as I am to have done them. My friends feed my soul and remind me who I am. That in turn makes me an even more attentive mother.

It’s never going to be easier to do things for yourself if you wait. It takes effort. Make that phone call or send that text. Spend some time making yourself happy and everyone will be happy.