It's nothing new. Time flies and before you know it your newborn is 3 years old. And, what happened to self care? It went out the window the moment you delivered you now toddler that acts like a mini teenager. Hopefully you aren't like me and gained 65 pounds during pregnancy that still wants to cling to the hips with dear life. Maybe you haven't had a shower in a few days, or really don't remember when that last shower really was. You might have to sniff your armpit to see if it's past due.

We have to take care of ourselves and make time for that self care. I'm starting again at turning over a new leaf. I signed up to do a workout program with other local moms to work at getting off the weight I gained that I have yoyo'd back and forth to get off in the last three years. I feel guilty, but I'm doing it. Why do you I feel guilty? It's two nights a week at about the time I should be getting my son ready for bed. In total, it will be 16 nights away from the bedtime routine. Obviously my husband is more than capable of handling it on his own, but they will be lost moments that I won't get back.

Anytime I try to make time for myself I feel guilty. Because I'm not with my son for whatever period of time I'm away. Is he upset that I'm gone? Most likely not. Is he going to be traumatized for life that I wasn't there 24/7? Definitely not! But those thoughts still go through my mind. That, and it always seems that my husband is begrudgingly saying goodbye as I sneak out the door. I know it's all in my head after the fact, but at the time it seems that even he thinks that I'm taking too much time for myself.

We lose ourselves in motherhood, and we have to keep afloat to hold onto any part of our identity that was who we were before becoming a parent. Once the kids are grown and out on their own what identity will we have? I'm all for rediscovery and finding a new self along the way, but we can't lose that self who fell in love with our spouse. The one who had the conversation with said spouse that we wanted to start a family. In the end it will be just the two of you again, and most importantly YOU.