When you’re always on the move, and then FINALLY you have a moment to breathe, and all you can do is think of more things to do--and so you go back to doing until you decide to go into bed. But then your bed suddenly becomes a thinking spot instead of a sleeping spot. When it takes hours to fall asleep BECAUSE YOU CAN'T FIND THE OFF BUTTON TO YOUR BRAIN, so, you stay up late and make lists until your eyes are burning. But then you remember, one more thing you forgot to do AND UGH.
But THAT’S WHAT ANXIETY DOES.
When your heart sinks the moment, you drop your child off at school and your mind races to that one kid that can be tough. You visualize him pushing down your child, almost in slow motion, and your child bursting into tears. AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO. It almost manifests to the point where you believe it happened, and go early for pickup to check-in.
But THAT’S WHAT ANXIETY DOES.
When your child IS THAT TOUGH KID, and you picture her running around and slamming into children left and right, giving one kid a big bump on her head. And you know the next phone call is going to be from the school and, OH, NO IT’S THEM. "Oh, hi, mom." Phew, THANK GOODNESS.
But THAT’S WHAT ANXIETY DOES.
When you scrutinize your every move because you're afraid of what others think. You’re never able to turn off. You always expect yourself to be on--- and that can be exhausting. Sometimes it gets so bad that you avoid people altogether.
And if you run into someone, the conversation is awkward at best because your nerves are seeping through your pores. You then walk away questioning EVERYTHING from your tone to your words, and did your breath smell like that hummus you just ate? UGH.
Because THAT’S WHAT ANXIETY DOES.
It makes you UGH so many times a day.
But it DOES eventually turn you, a worrier, into a warrior because you conquer the day-to-day despite your worries--
And that my anxious mama friend, makes you strong.
This post originally appeared on the author's Facebook. Her book Living FULL: Winning My Battle with Eating Disorder is available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2O4mJId
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